May 10th 2024.
Finally, after what feels like a lifetime, my daughter is at school and I have some time to myself. As a single mother, dating and having a sex life seemed like a distant dream. But now, at 33 years old, my sex life is finally blossoming.
Being a single parent meant that I went without sex for five years. It was a challenging and lonely time, but I was focused on raising my child. Dating was impossible with a small baby and no help, and I all but gave up on ever having a sex life again.
But as my daughter got older and more independent, I started to explore my sexuality. Three years ago, I came out as bisexual. It was a realization that had been brewing inside me for years, but it took me a long time to admit it to myself and others. Even now, only a select few people in my life know my true feelings.
I've only slept with one woman, a one-night stand with a university friend. Growing up, I always assumed that every girl fantasized about other women, but I never thought it meant anything. But when I finally slept with a woman, it was like a magnetic pull between us. It was exhilarating, terrifying, and the most turned on I had ever been just by being in someone's presence.
For years, I convinced myself that it was just a drunken experiment. But now, I realize that it was a part of who I am. And I can't wait to see where this new realization will take me.
Now that my daughter is in school, I've started to use dating apps and even ventured into polyamory. It's been a way for me to explore different versions of myself without even leaving my house. It's helped me connect with people as a woman, not just as a mother. And it's helped me figure out what I truly find attractive in a person.
Because at the end of the day, it's not about labels for me. I'm drawn to people, regardless of their gender or relationship status. It's about that fire and connection, and I'm excited to see where it will lead me next.
But enough about me, let's get down to business. Here's how my week went...
Monday, I did something completely out of my comfort zone and booked a ticket to a speed-dating event. I checked into a hotel room, something I've never done alone before. Of course, the guilt of being away from my child crept in, but I was determined to make the most of this opportunity.
After hyping myself up for an hour, I put on some beautiful underwear and headed to the bar. But my hopes for a night of endless possibility quickly faded when I realized the venue had hardly sold any tickets. I ended up being cornered by a guy who was definitely not my type, so I downed my drink and left.
Feeling frustrated and in need of some satisfaction, I started texting my oldest friend. He's always been a reliably filthy sexter, and it hit all the right spots for me.
Tuesday, I woke up in the hotel and treated myself to a slow breakfast, something that's a rare luxury in my busy parenting life. My phone was buzzing with messages from a recent connection on a dating app. I've become all too familiar with the swiping, repetitive conversations, and short-lived moments, but it's worth it for those rare connections.
Our chat was easy, flirty, and fun. His profile mentioned that he was polyamorous, and we soon started talking about his partner and what they were looking for. I always thought I was a one-person-at-a-time kind of woman, but after just a few messages with him, I was hooked.
He even sent me a photo of him and his partner, and suddenly the idea of being a plaything in their relationship seemed thrilling and irresistible. They were both bisexual and preferred to have a connection with the person they were dating rather than just a one-night stand.
I could feel myself falling deeper and deeper into this rabbit hole of trouble.
Wednesday, I was back in my house, back to the never-ending cycle of being a single mom. The usual routine of packing school bags, school runs, working too many hours, making dinner, and getting my child ready for bed.
But in the back of my mind, I couldn't stop thinking about the possibilities that lay ahead with this new connection. And for the first time in a long time, I felt excited about my sex life and where it might take me.
Autumn's Sex Diary:
Hello and welcome to "How I Do It," where we give you an inside look at the sex life of someone you've never met before. Today, we're featuring Autumn, a 33-year-old single mother and writer from Yorkshire. After becoming a single parent in her early 20s, Autumn went without sex for five years. But now, she says her sex life is finally blossoming.
"I remember those first few years of single parenting, when dating was nearly impossible and I felt like I would never have a sex life again," Autumn shares. But after her dry spell ended, she began to explore her sexuality and came out as bisexual three years ago. "I always had a feeling that I was attracted to both men and women, but it took me a long time to fully embrace and accept it. Even now, there are only a select few people in my life who know the truth," she explains.
Autumn has only slept with one woman, a one-night stand from her university days. "During my teenage years, I assumed that all girls fantasized about other girls, but I never thought it meant anything," she says. But when she met this woman, there was an undeniable attraction and they ended up spending the night together. "It was intense and exhilarating, the most turned on I had ever been just from being in someone's presence. And for a long time, I brushed it off as just a drunken college experiment," Autumn admits.
Now that her daughter is 10 and in school, Autumn has started using dating apps and has even dabbled in polyamory. "Trying out different dating apps has given me the chance to explore different versions of myself without even leaving my house. It's allowed me to connect with people as a woman, not just a mother, and has helped me understand what I truly find attractive in others," she says. "For me, it's not about labels or categories. I'm drawn to people, regardless of their gender or relationship status. It's all about the fire and connection between us."
Without further ado, here's a glimpse into Autumn's week:
Monday
Feeling adventurous, I spontaneously book a ticket to a speed-dating event. I check into a hotel room beforehand, something I have never done alone before. The guilt of leaving my daughter at home creeps in, but I am determined to make the most of this opportunity. I spend an hour getting ready, relishing the chance to wear beautiful lingerie and dress up for a change. The room has a large, ornate mirror next to the bed, so I take some photos before heading to the bar.
Unfortunately, the speed-dating event turns out to be a disappointment. The venue didn't sell many tickets, and I'm stuck talking to a guy who is not my type. I quickly finish my drink and leave. Frustrated and in need of some satisfaction, I start texting my oldest friend. He's always been a reliable source of dirty talk, and it hits all the right spots.
Tuesday
I wake up in the hotel and treat myself to a leisurely breakfast, something I rarely get to do as a busy single mom. My phone lights up with messages from a recent connection on a dating app. Swiping and having the same repetitive conversations can get tiring, but every now and then, you come across someone special. And this guy seems to be just that. He's polyamorous, and we start talking about his partner and their preferences.
I have always considered myself a one-person-at-a-time kind of woman, but after just a few messages with him, I'm intrigued by the idea of ethical non-monogamy. He even sends me a photo of him and his partner, and the thought of being a part of their relationship is thrilling and irresistible. Both of them are bisexual, and they prefer to have a deeper connection with their partners rather than just a one-night stand. I can feel myself falling down the rabbit hole of trouble, and I can't wait to see where it takes me.
Wednesday
Back at home, it's the usual routine of packing school bags, doing school runs, spending too many hours at my laptop, making dinner, giving baths, and putting my daughter to bed. But amidst all the chaos, I can't help but feel excited about the new possibilities that are opening up for me. I may be a single mother, but I am also a woman with desires and needs, and I am ready to explore them. I can't wait to see what the rest of the week holds for me.
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