December 5th 2024.
From 2006 to 2012, the talented Marina O'Loughlin graced the pages of Metro as their weekly restaurant reviewer. During that time, she visited Gregg Wallace's restaurant, Gregg's Table, located in Bermondsey. Unfortunately, her experience was less than impressive, and the restaurant ended up closing in 2013. Now, 12 years later, we revisit her scathing review as it was originally published.
Gregg's Table, owned by MasterChef presenter, judge, and chef Gregg Wallace, was an absolute travesty according to O'Loughlin. As she delves into her review, she starts by painting a grim picture of the chips - sad and greasy, resembling a tired teenager who can barely muster the energy to look presentable. And the menu? O'Loughlin can't help but wonder if it's some kind of joke. Egg salad, boiled beef and carrots, and a tropical fruit cocktail with Carnation Milk are just a few of the questionable items listed.
But let's not forget about the man behind the restaurant - Gregg Wallace himself. O'Loughlin notes that he may have assumed all diners would be just as amused as he was with the menu, complete with spotted dick and toilet doors adorned with cast-iron bras and Y-fronts. However, O'Loughlin is not amused and finds the whole experience to be one of the worst meals she's had in years.
The mulligatawny soup tastes like Vesta curry, and the chicken Kiev is a pappy, deep-fried disaster stuffed with raw-tasting garlic. The beef stroganoff, a dish that can be a thing of beauty in the right hands, is instead a stringy, blood-soaked mess with a dollop of sour cream on top. And the vegetables, which one would assume Greengrocer Gregg would excel at, are overcooked, mushy, and lacking in any seasoning.
Thankfully, O'Loughlin finds some respite in a decent blue cheese and broccoli flan. But unfortunately, that's the only bright spot in an otherwise embarrassing parade of dishes. The service is sweet but under-trained, and the lack of attention to clearing plates is telling. And when O'Loughlin inquires about the Riesling on the menu, the server's response is anything but helpful - "It's wine you like, dry, sweetish, and fruity."
As if the dining experience wasn't already disappointing enough, O'Loughlin is given a tiny shot glass of butterscotch Angel Delight for dessert. When she asks about its ingredients, she's told it's made with milk and a chemical of some sort. It's a baffling similarity to the classic Bird's custard, leaving O'Loughlin questioning why she even bothered asking in the first place.
While there's nothing wrong with having some fun with nostalgic dishes, O'Loughlin can't help but question if Wallace truly believes all diners have the same unrefined palate as he does. And even if that were the case, Wallace fails to deliver even a decent Spam fritter, leaving O'Loughlin to wonder if he's truly onto something or simply banking on the fact that the Great British public will eat up anything he serves.
With news of his recent divorce making headlines, O'Loughlin suggests that perhaps Wallace could find solace in his own restaurant and its "good, honest food." However, after experiencing it for herself, she doubts he'll want to risk facing his public at this unimpressive restaurant with a view of Sainsbury's.
Fast forward to present day and we see the aftermath of Wallace's restaurant and his personal life. From the BBC axing MasterChef Christmas specials to Wallace issuing a groveling apology for his derogatory comments towards "middle-class women," it seems his reputation has taken quite a hit. And as more allegations surface, including claims of exposing himself and pressing his crotch against a woman, it's clear that Wallace's career may never fully recover.
[This article has been trending online recently and has been generated with AI. Your feed is customized.]
[Generative AI is experimental.]
