July 2nd 2024.
Ever since I can remember, I have never quite felt like a girl or a boy. Last summer, as the weather started to warm up and Pride season began, I received an envelope that felt like the beginning of a new chapter in my life. Inside was my deed poll, a legal document that proved I had officially changed my name. It was a moment filled with joy and emotion, a confirmation of my identity as a non-binary person. Finally, after a long journey, I could proudly say that my name was Dee Whitnell.
To celebrate, I indulged in my own "name day" cake in the shape of a heart, which I devoured all by myself in just 24 hours. But it hasn't always been easy for me to celebrate my identity in this way. Throughout my life, I have never felt like I fit into either the "girl" or "boy" category. In school, I either isolated myself or tried to conform to hyper-feminine standards in order to convince myself that I was a girl. I grew my hair long, fake-tanned, and shortened my school skirt, imitating the other girls around me.
It wasn't until I saw a trans character on an episode of Hollyoaks that I had my first lightbulb moment. This character, played by Victoria Atkin, gave me the words to describe what I had been feeling all along: dysphoria. However, the character was a trans man, and for a while, I thought that maybe I was also a trans boy. But as I explored my masculinity, I realized that it didn't feel quite right. I wasn't a boy.
It wasn't until my early twenties, during the lockdown, that I had my second lightbulb moment. Scrolling through Instagram, I came across the term "non-binary" and everything clicked into place. This was my identity, and it explained all of my doubts, struggles, and feelings about my body and how others perceived me. Finally, I had a word to describe myself and my expression.
Since then, I have openly identified as non-binary and explored my transness and queerness online, mainly on platforms like Instagram and TikTok. In 2023, I took the leap and changed my name to something that felt more authentic and genderless. However, there is still so much pushback and lack of representation for non-binary individuals in society and the media.
As the general election approaches, I am reminded of the struggles that come with being non-binary. I want to vote, but as a non-binary person, it's not as simple as just showing up at the polls. Not only do I have to deal with the constant anti-trans+ rhetoric in politics, but there are also barriers in place for non-binary individuals to exercise their democratic rights.
The government's demand for photo ID poses a challenge for non-binary individuals like myself. While I have a deed poll proving my name change, my passport and driver's license still have my deadname on them. This means that if I show up at the polls with my current ID, I could be turned away because my name on the electoral register doesn't match. It's a difficult situation, and I am constantly worried about being outed or turned away at the polling station.
You may be wondering, why haven't I updated my legal documents? The truth is, it's not as simple as it sounds. It's a costly and time-consuming process, and as a non-binary person, it's even more challenging. When updating my passport, for example, I am not able to change my gender marker to a non-binary option. It's a frustrating and draining experience, having to explain myself and pay for the privilege of having legal documents that reflect my true identity.
Despite these challenges, I am determined to vote in the upcoming election. Like many trans+ individuals, I have applied for a "Voter Authority Certificate" to serve as additional photo ID. However, even this process was not without its challenges, as I was told I could simply use my deed poll and passport to vote, but there's no guarantee that will work. It's a stressful and uncertain situation, but I am hoping for the best and will do everything I can to make my voice heard.
Ultimately, I believe that those who can vote should vote. It's important for our community to have a say in politics and work towards creating a more inclusive and accepting society. Even though there are barriers in place for trans+ individuals, we must continue to fight for our rights and make our voices heard.
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