May 12th 2024.
I woke up shivering, my body aching from sleeping on a cold, hard surface. As I reached for my phone to check the time, I realized it was completely dead. I searched through my purse, but it was empty. Panic set in as I tried to figure out where I was.
Looking around, I noticed I was leaning against a tall building. The street was deserted, with only a few flickering street lights. It must have been late at night. I tried to remember what happened, but all I could recall was taking shots on the dance floor.
The cold was seeping through my thin dress, tights, and leather jacket. I struggled to stand up and stumbled towards the nearest door. I knocked on it, desperately hoping for someone to let me in. After a few moments, a man in a high-visibility jacket opened the door and silently gestured for me to come inside.
Without hesitation, I entered the building, grateful to escape the freezing night air. The man turned out to be my savior. He was the security guard for the building and allowed me to sleep on his sofa, charge my phone, and even gave me money for the bus the next morning.
We talked about what had happened, and he was shocked by my situation. Looking back, I realized how terrifying it could have been. Anything could have happened to me in my drunken state.
But this was not an isolated incident for me. As a teenager and in my early 20s, it was a common occurrence for me to wake up on a friend's or stranger's sofa with no memory of the previous night. It all started when I was 14 and started attending house parties. I was too shy to socialize without alcohol, and I found it gave me confidence and made me more outgoing. It became a habit, and I felt like I had to keep up the party girl persona.
My parents turned a blind eye to my drinking because I was still doing well in school and sports. It was a time when most of my friends were also drinking, but I always wanted to outdrink them and be the center of attention.
When I went to university, my drinking only got worse. I was unsure of what I wanted to do with my life, and alcohol became a constant companion. I was known for going out four or five times a week and often returning home completely drunk.
But it wasn't just the drinking that was taking a toll on me. The next day, I would often experience intense anxiety, known as 'hangxiety.' I would worry about what I said or did while drunk, even if my friends reassured me that nothing embarrassing had happened.
When I was 26 and working in London, I continued to drink heavily. One night, at a work event with free alcohol, I drank too much and ended up at karaoke with my colleagues. I don't remember much, but I do recall running home without my bag and in heels. I phoned my then-boyfriend, who was away on a work trip, and he told me that my behavior scared him.
The next day, I couldn't even face him. I was ashamed and didn't know how to explain my actions. I was far from the only person in Britain with an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. The statistics on alcohol-related deaths are alarming, especially among women.
But things started to change for me when a friend expressed her anger over my drunken behavior. She recounted how I had left her alone at a party with a guy I had just met. It was a pattern I had repeated many times before – I couldn't stop myself from drinking and partying.
I realized that I needed to change. I didn't want to lose my friends or precious memories because of alcohol. I started setting limits for myself and sticking to them. I also began to recognize that I didn't need alcohol to be confident or have fun.
Now, at 28 years old, I have completely stopped drinking. Six months ago, I found out I was pregnant, and that was the final push I needed to give up alcohol for good. I haven't missed it at all. In fact, I feel more present and happier without it.
I've also noticed that my friends are drinking less too, and I no longer feel the pressure to keep up. I've realized that being social and confident has nothing to do with alcohol. And I don't want to miss out on making memories with my loved ones because of a drink.
If you have a similar story, I encourage you to share it. Let's support each other and break the cycle of unhealthy drinking habits.
[This article has been trending online recently and has been generated with AI. Your feed is customized.]
[Generative AI is experimental.]
