Why are parents and in-laws so fixated on spreading our important announcement?

Moms and Instagram don't mix well.

July 17th 2024.

Why are parents and in-laws so fixated on spreading our important announcement?
We've all been there - trying to keep something a secret before our parents or in-laws make it public knowledge. Actress Emma Roberts recently experienced this when she announced her engagement to Cody John on Instagram. She joked about it saying, "Putting this here before my mom tells everyone." It seems like Emma's mom, Kelly Cunningham, has a habit of sharing big news before Emma gets the chance to. This isn't the first time it's happened, as Kelly previously announced Emma's pregnancy on social media.

Emma shared the story on Jimmy Kimmel, saying, "I was keeping my pregnancy pretty low-key, but unfortunately my mother has Instagram. Mothers and Instagram, it's a bad combination. She spilled the beans." It all started when a tabloid speculated that Emma might be expecting a child with her then-boyfriend, Garrett Hedlund. Fans began congratulating Kelly, who then thanked everyone for their well wishes and expressed her excitement. Emma even joked that she had to block her mom at one point because of it.

This may seem like a unique celebrity problem, but it turns out, many of us can relate. From announcing job promotions to posting baby scans on Facebook, parents and in-laws always seem to reveal our news before we're ready. Reddit is full of people asking whether it's okay to feel frustrated with their loved ones for sharing their personal information.

One Reddit user asked, "Does anybody else's mom tell everyone their business?" to which someone replied, "Yes, and it's so frustrating! My mom told all of my business, it's like she had no filter." Another person said their mom was on a "low-information diet."

But why do our loved ones struggle to keep quiet? Psychologist Emma Kenny explains that it usually comes from a place of love and excitement. "People feel genuinely thrilled for you and they go into that child state of wanting to share with everyone because it makes them feel really happy, and they want to extend that joy and happiness with others," she says.

However, there are ways to manage the situation. Emma suggests being clear from the beginning that you want to share the news when you're ready. "Explain that the person you've told the information to has been gifted the knowledge because they have a very close relationship with you, but you don't want it going any further." And if someone ignores your wishes and shares your news, don't be afraid to stand your ground and let them know that they've breached your confidentiality.

There's also a more concerning situation where someone purposely shares your news without your permission. Emma calls this a "different type of sharing" and says it's a relationship issue that needs to be addressed. "That's when someone is trying to mark their territory and assert a level of superiority in your life," she explains.

But in most cases, our loved ones just can't contain their excitement and end up revealing our news. Emma suggests taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture. "Ask yourself a bigger question: is it really that important that you're the one to tell people? Is it really that powerful that your life would be forever changed if someone else went ahead and shared it?" Reframing the narrative can help, as Emma says, "People do share information that they shouldn't share, but usually it comes from a place of care and deep connection with you."

In the end, it's a reminder that we are lucky to have people who love and care for us so deeply. "Aren't you lucky that you're loved to such a degree that someone finds news about your life that important that they just want to sing about it to the rest of the world?" Emma says. So instead of getting upset, try to appreciate the love and excitement behind their actions.

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