A pleasant, jolly inquisitive person called me and asked, “What does the Big Red Car want Santa to bring him for Christmas?”
I replied, “Normal.”
“Oh,” the person said. “That’s quite odd. Normal, really? Can you give me an example or two?”
Here are some thoughts:
1. I want the world to admit there are only two genders and that a vagina v a penis is a useful definitive descriptor in deciding which gender one is.
You feeling like a giraffe these days? Fine, but let’s not pretend that there are more than two genders.
2. On the gender beat, I want women to compete only against women at every level of sport and bathroom usage. No scrotums in the locker room. Simple request. Quite reasonable.
If you’re a guy burdened by a penis and guy DNA, but want to play with the girls and use their facilities, the answer is, “No.” Sometimes, the answer has to be no. Not even remotely sorry.
3. I want to stop pretending China is our friend. They are a militant, Communist dictatorship that shares zero values with our constitutional representative republic. They steal our technology and pretend they are a developing nation when it comes to pay for stuff.
4. On the note of China, let’s stop pretending there is One China. There is Red China the Communist dictatorship and there is democratic Taiwan. Taiwan is not a wayward province of Red China. They are a separate sovereign nation and have been since, well, forever. Stop pretending.
Serious question — what do you figure the Chinese really have on Biden?
5. Speaking of dictators, this Putin dipshit and his war in Ukraine. Let’s stop pretending Russia is anything other than a pesky gas station of a country with delusions of grandeur whose economy is smaller than Italy. The world does not need Russia.
Stop pretending regime change, defanging, and dismembering Russia would not be a good thing for the world. And, no, they cannot compete in the Olympics.
6. Let’s have the United States live up to its commitments around the world. If you sign something like the Budapest Memorandum, then live up to it. That would be how a normal country would conduct its affairs.
7. The Biden Crime Family — good God, man, let’s stop pretending Hunter Biden and Jimmy Biden possess anything other than a last name and a native grifter hustle that would separate them from a sea of mediocrity. It is not normal to send buffoons like this millions of dollars — for what? Influence peddling.
Honestly, why would any serious honest company want a crack head on their Board of Directors? Come on, man. No joke.
8. On the Biden tack, let’s stop pretending it is OK for Joe Biden not to be in an old folks home somewhere in Florida — near the beach — living out his dotage with Dr. Jill. Can we please stop pretending this man has the cognitive horsepower to run a lemonade stand?
9. Can we please decouple the Department of Justice and the Federal Bureau of Investigation from the Democrat Party?
10. Iran — let’s admit that Iran is behind the trouble in the Mideast and stop sending them money, allowing them to produce oil, and ignoring their involvement in Palestine, Lebanon, Iraq, and Yemen.
I have a lot more, but I think that ten is greedy.
Give someone who will not get a present this Christmas a present. You will like yourself for it.
But, hey, what the Hell do I really know anyway? I’m just a Big Red Car. Merry Christmas!
