November 27th 2024.
From left to right, we have Emma, Clare, and Sarah, three amazing solo moms who have chosen to embark on the journey of motherhood on their own terms. With them are their beautiful children, Xander, Albert, Astrid, and Oliver.
For Sarah, it was a dream come true at the age of 56 when she held her newborn baby, Oliver, in her arms in a hospital bed. It was March 13, 2023, and after many years of waiting and hoping, she had finally become a mother. And she did it all by herself.
But Sarah is not alone in this journey. According to the UK's fertility regulator, the number of single women undergoing IVF or donor insemination has tripled in the last decade, with 4,800 women each year choosing to become solo moms. This is a significant increase from just 1,400 women a decade ago.
Reflecting on the day her son was born, Sarah shared with Metro, "Giving birth was an unbelievable experience. It's hard to believe that just moments ago, that little being was inside of me, and now he's here in my arms. That image will forever be imprinted in my mind."
Sarah had always wanted to be a mother, but her dating life had passed her by, and she hadn't found a partner she wanted to start a family with. "I had a very fulfilling life, traveling, going on Buddhist retreats, and mountaineering. But deep down, I felt like something was missing," she explains. "I kept feeling this burning desire to become a mother, and it never went away."
At the age of 41, Sarah first considered becoming a solo mom, but it felt too daunting at the time. However, when she turned 47, she made the brave decision to take the leap. She ended up spending over £30,000 for her IVF treatment, initially funding it with her credit cards before using her inheritance from her late father.
Unfortunately, Sarah did not get pregnant on her first try. She underwent five IUI sessions, where the sperm is injected directly into the uterus, but they were unsuccessful. She then decided to undergo IVF with her own eggs, but after a year and a half of trying, she realized it wasn't going to work. Emotionally drained, she took a break and went on a holiday to Slovenia.
But her desire to have a child never faded, and at the age of 49, Sarah decided to give it one last shot. In a fertility clinic in Cyprus, she chose an egg donor who shared similar genetics with her, while the sperm came from a Danish sperm bank. The sperm donor was a Czech man in his mid-20s, and it was his heartfelt letter detailing why he chose to donate that reassured Sarah she had made the right decision.
Even though the donor remains anonymous, Sarah's son, Oliver, will have the option to reach out to him when he turns 18. However, not everyone has been supportive of Sarah's decision to become a solo mom. She has faced judgment and negativity from some, including family members who she had hoped would celebrate her journey. "People have said to me, 'You're too old, why did you do it? It's the wrong thing to do,'" she shares. "It's been really hard and hurtful."
But despite the challenges, Sarah has no regrets. She has found a strong support system in her friends, neighbors, and the solo mom community. She also had a friend who came to help her for the first 10 days after giving birth, allowing her to recover and providing emotional support. "I was scared when she left, wondering if I could do it on my own, but I got into a routine," Sarah recalls. "Having a network of friends who you can turn to when you're struggling is crucial."
Today, Sarah's son, Oliver, is her greatest joy, and she wouldn't have it any other way. She encourages other women who are considering becoming solo moms to go for it and not let anyone discourage them. "It's the most amazing experience to grow and give birth to your child and nurture them. Especially when you thought you might not have the chance to do so," she says with a smile.
Sarah is not the only one who has chosen this path. In fact, in the past year alone, 3,548 single women underwent IVF alone, with an 82% increase since 2019. Many of these women refer to themselves as "Solo Moms by Choice," and there is even a dedicated UK Facebook group with over 4,000 members.
One of the members of this empowering group is Emma, who, nine years ago, found herself sitting across from a friend who, at the age of 45, was grieving the child she never had because she hadn't found a partner. Emma herself became a solo mom when she welcomed her son, Xander, into the world.
Choosing to become a solo mom is not an easy decision, and it comes with its fair share of challenges and judgment. But for Sarah, Emma, and many other women, it has been an incredible and life-changing experience. And they wouldn't have it any other way.
From left to right, we have Emma, Clare, and Sarah, three single mothers with their adorable children, Xander, Albert, Astrid, and Oliver. It's a beautiful sight to see these strong and independent women raising their children with love and determination.
Sarah's journey towards motherhood was not an easy one. At the age of 56, she found herself in a hospital bed, cradling her newborn baby, Oliver. It was March 13, 2023, and after years of longing to become a mother, she had finally fulfilled her dream. However, she did it all on her own, without a partner by her side.
But Sarah is not alone in this. According to the UK's fertility regulator, there has been a significant increase in the number of single women opting for IVF or donor insemination in the last decade. From 1,400 women a year, the number has tripled to 4,800. This just goes to show that more and more women are choosing to become single mothers by choice.
Reflecting on the day she gave birth to her son, Sarah shares with Metro, "It was an unbelievable experience. To think that this little human was inside me and now he's here in my arms, it's a moment that will be imprinted in my mind forever." Sarah had made the decision to become a solo mother after her dating life had passed her by and she had not found a partner to start a family with. "I had a very fulfilling life, traveling, going on retreats, and mountaineering, but I always felt like something was missing," she explains. "The desire to become a mother never went away, and as I got older, I realized that I may never find a partner, but I couldn't ignore this burning feeling inside me."
Sarah emphasizes the importance of having a strong support system when becoming a solo mother, but she also believes that it has been the best decision she has ever made. Her journey towards motherhood began when she was 41, but she found it too daunting at the time. It wasn't until she was 47 that she finally decided to take the leap. She spent over £30,000 on IVF treatments, first using her credit cards and then her inheritance from her late father.
Unfortunately, her first attempt at getting pregnant was unsuccessful. She had five IUI sessions, where the sperm is injected directly into the uterus, but they all failed. She then turned to IVF using her own eggs, but after a year and a half, she realized it wasn't going to work. "It was emotionally draining, so I took a break and went on a holiday to Slovenia," she shares. However, the desire to become a mother never left her, and at the age of 49, she decided to give it one last try.
When it came to choosing a sperm donor, Sarah went to a fertility clinic in Cyprus at the age of 51. She opted for an egg donor with similar genetics to herself and selected sperm from a Danish sperm bank. The donor was a Czech man in his mid-20s, and it was his heartfelt letter that confirmed Sarah's decision. In the letter, he wrote, "Dear child, you are lucky to have parents who wanted you so badly and will dedicate their lives to you. They couldn't have you the 'normal way,' but I am here to help create a life, and that is the most beautiful thing in the world. I wish you a happy life." Although the donor remains anonymous, Sarah's son, Oliver, will have the option to reach out to him when he turns 18.
Becoming a solo mother may not be understood or supported by everyone, and Sarah has experienced her fair share of judgment and negativity. However, for her, the experience has been nothing short of amazing. "Some of the people closest to me have not been supportive, and that has been difficult," she says. "They have questioned my decision and reminded me of my age, as if I hadn't thought about it. It hurt a lot." Despite this, her mother and friends have been incredibly supportive, and she has also found a sense of community among other solo mothers.
Sarah believes that having a strong support system is crucial for solo mothers, and she is grateful for her friends who she can turn to for emotional support. Her neighbors have also been a great help, and she had a friend stay with her for the first ten days after giving birth to help her recover and care for the baby. "I was scared when she left, wondering if I could do it on my own, but I got into a routine," she recalls. "It's great to have people around, but if you don't, it doesn't mean you can't do it."
Today, at the age of 58, Sarah has absolutely no regrets about her decision to become a solo mother. "It's the most incredible feeling to see your child grow, give birth to them, and nurture them, especially when you thought you may never have that opportunity," she says. Sarah is not the only one to embark on this journey, as the number of single women opting for IVF alone has increased by 82% since 2019. There is even a dedicated Facebook group for Solo Mums by Choice in the UK, with over 4,000 members.
Emma Halliday's story is another example of a woman who chose to become a solo mother. Nine years ago, she sat across from a friend who was grieving the fact that she may never have a child at the age of 45 because she had not found the right partner. This struck a chord with Emma, and she decided to become a solo mother at the age of 49. She now has a beautiful son, Xander, and she couldn't be happier with her decision. Emma's story, along with Sarah's, is a testament to the strength and resilience of single mothers who choose to embark on this journey alone.
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