June 20th 2023.
With the menopause a hotly debated topic right now, it was only a matter of time before the TV gods got in on the act.
Cue Channel 4’s latest offering ‘The Change’ which has been described as ‘Shirley Valentine meets Deliverance with pigs’, and airs this week.
The comedy darama follows the adventures of Linda, a 50-year-old mother who is convinced she has early onset dementia after forgetting what a shoe is called.
When a visit to her GP reveals she is actually going through the menopause, feeling newly invigorated, she rides off into the Forest of Dean on a motorbike in search of adventure.
But how much of a reflection is Linda’s experience true to the women going through the change in the real world?
The Agency spoke to three women whose own lives went through metamorphosis with the menopause, to find out.
I gave up my happy marriage, fell in love with a woman and moved into a boat
Sarah made huge changes after she went into menopause
Sarah Burghard, 55, from Bristol, says:
I can’t believe how different my life is now compared to seven years ago when my marriage disintegrated. I had become overwhelmed by a sense of restlessness which, looking back, was probably peri-menopause. I had this sense of wanderlust – that there was more to life – and I didn’t know what that was.
I wasn’t unhappy, but I went careering off into the unknown. I became wayward and selfish. Communication broke down and we called it a day.I was very sad that my wonderful marriage was over because of me, but also optimistic.
I went on Bumble and did a bit of dating. It was soulless. After a few dates, one man invited me to a beautiful Cotswolds hotel and we had a nice liaison – although I didn’t see him again.
A few months later, I went to a party in Devon and met my subsequent girlfriend. It wasn’t an extraordinary shock to be with a woman because I’m quite open minded. It was a full blown love affair; and it changed me forever. I told my sons after six months and they were wonderfully un-phased. We were together for four years, but I’m happily single now.
The pandemic gave Sarah some time to think and reflect
After I’d left the family home, I decided on a fresh start so I moved to Bristol and bought a narrow boat. I didn’t want a one-bedroom flat that would make me feel depressed that I’d moved backwards.
Then the pandemic hit. I was isolated. There was a lot of reflection and I couldn’t see where I was going at all. I did not expect to be on my own, on a houseboat in Bristol, in a pandemic with no security.
Even so, I was happy, as it was was my cocoon. I sold it after two years, got a mortgage, and a flat and now I’m redesigning my life.
My values have shifted and I’ve learnt some profound lessons: That you really just have yourself – and that you really don’t need stuff.
Sarah now believes her new outlook is like a ‘second life’
That’s the wisdom of age; you de-clutter your entire existence. I am now self-employed designing hospitality interiors and have set up the Burghard Design Assemblage. I’ve built myself and now I’m building a business.
I had been feeling blooming, but then about six months ago I became very hormonal; like I was pregnant. I was crying at kittens on TV. I had a foggy brain, lethargy, a sense of being befuddled. The doctor told me it was because I was in full menopause, so I went on HRT and my energy, enthusiasm, optimism and drive came back.
Now, I have a lovely flat and a very simple life. I am loved, and the people who love me have seen me go through extraordinary change. They know that I’ve done it in the best way I could manage. This is like a second life for me, and I feel so grateful. Because ultimately, I did choose this; this was of my making.’
I took up stand up comedy in my 50s and starred on Channel 4’s Naked Education in my pants
Maura bared all on television after suffering menopause symptoms
Maura Jackson, 52, lives in Bolton and is CEO at a homeless charity. She says:
‘Over the past few years I’ve been getting migraines, restless legs and itchy skin on the arms, legs and back of my neck. I thought I had head lice. I didn’t know these could be menopause symptoms.
I had mood swings, but I thought it was just stress and the lockdowns. And I had massive anxiety too. It was horrific, debilitating, because I am a very confident and outgoing person. It’s left me feeling isolated. I’ll make jokes about being menopausal at work, but as leader of that organisation, you can’t present yourself to a staff team of 90 people with: “I feel a bit anxious today.” They need to feel safe and secure. On the tough days, when I’m bleeding, feeling dirty, jittery and like I might cry; I can’t say that out loud.
When the periods got really heavy, I realised it was the menopause. In March 2019, I was hosting a gala dinner and I started to bleed when I was onstage talking on a microphone. I had the only hot flush I ever had, and water was rolling down the back of my neck. It was ridiculous. I thought – this is going to turn into a horror movie. It undermines your confidence. You spend your life building up your position and your reputation and then all of a sudden you don’t feel like you can handle life.
I’ve also become reckless. Last August, I saw a Facebook call out for people to do five-minute comedy slots. I clicked on the link and registered. I don’t know why. When I got an email confirming my slot I thought: “What on earth have I done that for?”With the menopause becoming a widely discussed topic, television has finally found a way to get in on the action. Enter Channel 4's new show, 'The Change' which has been described as ‘Shirley Valentine meets Deliverance with pigs’. The comedy drama follows the story of Linda, a 50-year-old mother who thinks she has early-onset dementia after she forgets what a shoe is called. After a visit to the GP, she finds out she is going through the menopause and decides to set off on an adventure on a motorbike through the Forest of Dean.
To get an insight into how accurate Linda's experience was in comparison to women in the real world, The Agency spoke to three women whose lives changed with the menopause. One of these women was Sarah Burghard from Bristol. She said: “I can’t believe how different my life is now compared to seven years ago when my marriage disintegrated. I had this sense of wanderlust and that there was more to life, so I became wayward and selfish. After a few months I went to a party in Devon and met my subsequent girlfriend - it wasn’t an extraordinary shock to be with a woman."
The pandemic provided Sarah with the opportunity to reflect and she decided to make a fresh start by moving to Bristol and buying a narrow boat. She explained: “I didn’t want a one-bedroom flat that would make me feel depressed that I’d moved backwards. After two years, I sold it, got a mortgage, and a flat and now I’m redesigning my life. My values have shifted and I’ve learnt some profound lessons - that you really just have yourself and that you don’t need stuff.”
The other woman The Agency interviewed was Maura Jackson, CEO at a homeless charity from Bolton. She said: “I had migraines, restless legs and itchy skin but I didn’t know these could be menopause symptoms. I had mood swings and massive anxiety but I couldn’t tell my staff team of 90 people this. When my periods got really heavy, I realised it was the menopause. I’ve also become reckless - last August, I saw a Facebook call out for people to do five-minute comedy slots and I registered.”
These stories show how the menopause can have a powerful effect on a woman's life. It can cause physical and emotional changes, as well as a need for self-reflection. It can be a difficult transition, but with the right help and support, it can also be a time of transformation and growth.
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