January 12th 2024.
When the weather is hot, it can be hard to focus on much else. This is especially true when it comes to sex. I have always been someone who prefers to skip the foreplay and get straight to the main event, much to the surprise of my male partners. Many people believe that women need a lot of stimulation before getting down to business, but that has never been the case for me. I have always been more interested in penetration than anything else.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy making out, being touched, and receiving oral sex as much as the next person. But I am just too impatient to spend a lot of time on these activities before getting to the "main event." This has always been my approach, until recently.
You see, I have discovered a new sex act that I believe will become a huge trend in 2024: mutual masturbation. For those who haven't tried it, it's pretty simple. You and your partner touch yourselves and/or each other at the same time, using your hands or sex toys, either in person or virtually, to turn each other on.
While it may sound straightforward, there are some potential challenges that come with mutual masturbation. But fear not, dear reader, I am here to guide you through them.
Let me start by saying that I have dabbled in mutual masturbation in the past, but it wasn't until lockdown that I really explored it fully. Like many single people stuck at home during the pandemic, I turned to online dating and ended up matching with a lovely man who I ended up seeing virtually for a short time. He was sweet, kind, and sexy, and I must admit, I was feeling quite horny.
Our video dates soon turned steamy, and since we couldn't physically be together, we decided to pleasure ourselves while watching each other. At the time, I also had a good collection of sex toys, which is one of the perks of being a sex writer. But even for me, the idea of cybersex was intimidating at first. I felt self-conscious about showing off my body from all the right angles and worried about having a less-than-perfect "orgasm face."
However, my partner was thrilled with the show, and I found myself equally mesmerized watching him pleasure himself. We managed to climax together on our first try, which was an incredible experience.
Mutual masturbation requires a lot of trust, just like many other sexual acts. It is something that we usually do alone, and we may say or do things that we wouldn't necessarily feel comfortable sharing with someone else. But that's precisely why it can be a fantastic way to bond with your sexual partner.
For example, I once dated someone who struggled to reach orgasm during sex. It was late, and we had already been intimate a few times that day. He was worried about hurting me, and this concern was affecting his ability to maintain an erection. So, I suggested we try mutual masturbation. He was immediately on board, and we both pleasured ourselves while encouraging each other. Taking penetrative sex off the table momentarily made the experience more intense and ultimately led to a passionate and unexpected round of sex.
One of the biggest benefits of mutual masturbation is that you know your body best. This can be incredibly empowering and can lead to a deeper understanding of your own pleasure. Plus, you can show your partner what you enjoy, allowing them to pick up new tricks.
According to a study I conducted in 2022 with the sex toy company LELO, close to one in 10 Brits reported finding it easier to achieve orgasm through mutual masturbation. And two in 10 people expressed an interest in trying it with a partner.
Another advantage is that there are so many variations to discover and enjoy. You could try it while sitting up on opposite ends of the bed, which may sound scary but can be thrilling, or get as close as possible, staring into each other's eyes as you pant and moan.
However, the biggest hurdle with mutual masturbation is often embarrassment. Many people worry about looking silly in front of their partner or have body image issues. Unfortunately, there's no magic solution to becoming completely comfortable in your own skin. But there are small steps you can take to ease into it.
For example, you can start by touching yourself under the covers, gradually easing into being fully exposed. Masturbating alongside someone else with your eyes closed can also help. Try to pinpoint any elements of solo masturbation that you can incorporate with your partner to make the experience less awkward. Perhaps you can listen to some relaxing music or use your favorite sex toy.
My top tip is always to communicate with your partner and let them know if you're feeling nervous. Take it slow and go at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you.
And dare I say it, sometimes mutual masturbation can be even better than "regular" sex. But of course, that's just my opinion. Whether you use it as foreplay, midplay, or afterplay, mutual masturbation deserves a spot on your sexual calendar this year.
Do you have a story you'd like to share? Let us know by emailing
[email protected]. Share your thoughts in the comments below.
[This article has been trending online recently and has been generated with AI. Your feed is customized.]
[Generative AI is experimental.]
