June 29th 2024.
Losing someone close to you is never easy and it can be hard to navigate through the grief. Here are some tips that may help you cope:
1. Allow yourself to grieve: It's okay to feel sad, angry, or any other emotion. Give yourself the time and space to process your feelings.
2. Seek support: Don't be afraid to reach out to friends, family, or a professional for support. It's important to have a support system during this difficult time.
3. Find healthy coping mechanisms: Instead of turning to harmful distractions, find healthy ways to cope with your grief. This could be through therapy, exercise, or creative outlets.
4. Talk about your feelings: Sharing your thoughts and feelings with others can be therapeutic. Don't be afraid to open up and let others in.
5. Take care of yourself: Grief can be physically and emotionally draining, so it's important to take care of yourself. Get enough rest, eat well, and engage in activities that bring you joy.
6. Don't rush the process: Grief is a personal experience and there is no timeline for healing. Allow yourself to feel and process your emotions at your own pace.
7. Honor your loved one: Find ways to remember and honor your loved one, whether it's through creating a memorial, participating in a favorite activity of theirs, or simply keeping their memory alive in your heart.
Carmen, also known as Carmy, was a character in the play "The Bear" who struggled with the loss of his brother Michael. This hit close to home for me, as I too experienced a similar loss when my father passed away in 2016. At just 23 years old and at the beginning of my career, I made the difficult decision to quit my job and care for him during his final weeks. But after his passing, I knew I needed to get back to work to support myself and try to regain some sense of normalcy.
Not only was I dealing with the emotional toll of losing a loved one, but the financial strain was also adding to my stress. I had to pay rent and couldn't afford to take more time off, so I frantically applied for jobs. Thankfully, I landed my first journalism gig, which had always been my dream, and threw myself into it as a distraction from my grief.
However, as time went on, I realized that my work was taking a toll on my relationships and my well-being. I rarely saw my boyfriend or friends, and the long, solo overnight shifts left me with a lot of time to ruminate. But despite the signs of a breakdown, I couldn't bring myself to slow down. I was afraid to face my grief and didn't want to be defined by my loss.
It wasn't until three years later, after a breakup and losing touch with friends, that I hit rock bottom. I remember sitting on my bathroom floor, overwhelmed with sadness and feeling like no one could understand what I was going through. It took the intervention of my flatmate and the support of professionals for me to realize that I needed to open up and seek help.
Watching "The Bear" brought up a lot of emotions for me, as I saw myself in Carmen's struggles to suppress his anger and grief. Like him, I too lashed out and resented those who seemed to have an easier life. But I also learned the importance of finding healthy ways to cope with grief and to seek support from loved ones.
It took me years to open up to my family about my feelings, but I now understand that it's natural to seek distractions when faced with such complex emotions. It's important to allow ourselves to grieve, to seek support, and to find healthy coping mechanisms. The grieving process is different for everyone, and there's no timeline for healing. But by honoring our loved ones and taking care of ourselves, we can navigate through our grief and find peace.
Losing someone you love is never easy. For me, it was my father who passed away in 2016 when I was just 23 years old and at the start of my career. I made the difficult decision to leave my job and take care of him during his final weeks, but when he was gone, I knew I had to get back to work. Not only for financial reasons, but also to distract myself from the overwhelming grief that threatened to consume me.
Those first few months were tough. I was living with my then-boyfriend and some friends, but the lack of income was starting to take its toll. I needed to pay rent and couldn't afford to take more time off. So, I applied for jobs left and right, hoping that something would stick. And luckily, I not only landed a job within weeks, but it was also my dream job in journalism.
The newsroom was chaotic and demanding, unlike any 9 to 5 job. I threw myself into my work, using it as a way to escape the pain and turmoil inside me. But as time went on, I realized that my coping mechanism was taking a toll on my relationships and my well-being. My boyfriend and I rarely saw each other, I didn't have time for my friends, and the overnight shifts left me feeling isolated and alone.
Despite seeing the warning signs of a breakdown, I couldn't bring myself to slow down. I was afraid to face my grief, so I continued to push myself to be the best at my job and socialize with my colleagues. I didn't want to be seen as a damaged person defined by my loss. But eventually, it all caught up with me.
Three years later, I found myself single, estranged from some of my closest friends, and living with a stranger. I remember sitting on the bathroom floor, sobbing uncontrollably and feeling like there was no way out. But then my flatmate knocked on the door, giving me a moment to gather myself and come up with a plan. At that moment, I felt like no one could understand my pain or cared to try.
Reflecting on that time now brings up a mix of emotions. It saddens me to think that I was so unhappy and disconnected from the world. But I am also proud of myself for seeking help and fighting to stay alive. Watching The Bear has resonated with me deeply, as it explores themes of suicide and grief.
Carmy, the main character, struggles with the loss of his brother and suppresses his emotions. He often lashes out in anger and isolates himself from those around him. I can relate to this behavior, as I too used to act out and push people away. Losing someone you love and at such a crucial time in your life can leave you feeling cheated and angry at the world.
I must admit, I also resented those who seemed to have everything without experiencing any pain or loss. But I soon realized that this mindset only isolated me further. I had to learn to open up and lean on the support of others.
It wasn't easy for me to talk to my family about my feelings. Even though they had also experienced the loss, it felt too raw and overwhelming. It took me years to be able to open up to them and talk about that time. According to counsellor Georgina Starmer, seeking a distraction is a common coping mechanism when facing complex emotions.
If you are struggling with grief, know that it's okay to seek help and lean on your loved ones. There is no right way to navigate through it, and it's a journey that takes time. But with the support of others and professionals, you can learn to cope and eventually find peace.
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