The author was aware of their father's depression but still deeply affected by his suicide.

Bethan and her father, Marc, had always been close. They shared a special bond that was strengthened by their love for comedy and music. In early 2017, Bethan decided to surprise her dad with tickets to see their favorite comedian, Ricky Gervais, in Cardiff. They had the best evening together, laughing and enjoying each other's company as father and daughter.

However, tragedy struck only a few months later when Marc passed away at the young age of 48. Bethan was devastated. Growing up, she had known that her father struggled with mental health issues. He had even undergone treatment for depression in 2016, but his death still came as a shock to her.

When Bethan received the call from a police officer informing her of her father's passing, she immediately went to his house. As she stood in the garage where he had died, surrounded by her stepmother and grandmother's tears, she couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. She was heartbroken, but also comforted by the fact that her father had surrounded himself with photos of their family in his final moments.

However, the realization that she couldn't prevent his death was immensely difficult for Bethan. Her father had always been open with her about his struggles and had even said, "I don't want to die, I just want things to stop." Despite never receiving an official diagnosis, Bethan knew that her father suffered from depressive episodes.

Despite his struggles, Marc had always remained a loving father and a great friend to Bethan. He worked as a learning difficulty support manager and was well-respected in his field. However, he self-medicated with alcohol and never sought therapy, which ultimately led to his untimely death.

Bethan also recalled how her father had attempted to take his own life a couple of times before, but each time, paramedics deemed him "sound of mind" and left without offering any help. She believes that this is not their fault but rather a systemic issue of a lack of resources for mental health support.

Since her father's passing, Bethan has become a community ambassador for Movember and a trustee for a local men's health charity. She also runs an Instagram page called Iawn Mêt?, which means "Alright mate?" in Welsh, where she shares resources and support for men struggling with mental health. She has even raised money by walking five summits to prevent men's suicide.

Bethan misses her father every day, but she is proud of him and the impact he had on her life. He taught her to appreciate simple pleasures and to find joy in everyday moments. Despite his own struggles, he always tried to make her laugh and have fun, which she believes is true bravery.

In the end, Bethan wants to raise awareness and encourage men to seek help and support for their mental health. She believes that no one should have to suffer alone and is determined to make a difference in honor of her father. As A. A. Milne once said, "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

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