June 12th 2024.
Just like any other high school seniors, the students graduating from Newtown High School's class of 2024 are experiencing a mix of emotions as they prepare for their commencement ceremony. On one hand, they are excited about the future and the opportunities that await them in college or their chosen careers. But on the other hand, they are saddened by the thought of leaving behind their friends and the close-knit community they have grown up in.
However, for about 60 of these graduates, there is an added weight on their shoulders. These students are the survivors of one of the deadliest school shootings in US history, which took place on December 14, 2012 at Sandy Hook Elementary School. They lost 20 of their first-grade classmates and six educators in the tragic incident.
As they prepare for their graduation, the students will be honoring the memory of their lost classmates in a special ceremony. This detail has been kept under wraps, but it will undoubtedly be a bittersweet moment for the students as they reflect on the friends who should have been there with them on this important day.
Leaving their small town of Newtown, which many of them describe as a "bubble" of comfort and protection, will also be a significant change for these students. In an interview with the Associated Press, five of the survivors shared their thoughts and feelings about graduation, their plans for the future, and how the tragedy continues to shape their lives.
Lilly Wasilnak, who was in a classroom down the hall from where her peers were killed, expressed the conflicting emotions she and her classmates are feeling. "I think we're all super excited for the day," she said. "But I think we can't forget... that there is a whole chunk of our class missing. And so going into graduation, we all have very mixed emotions - trying to be excited for ourselves and this accomplishment that we've worked so hard for, but also those who aren't able to share it with us, who should have been able to."
Emma Ehrens, who was one of the 11 children from Classroom 10 to survive the attack, shared a similar sentiment. "I am definitely going to be feeling a lot of mixed emotions," she said. "I'm super excited to be, like, done with high school and moving on to the next chapter of my life. But I'm also so... mournful, I guess, to have to be walking across that stage alone. I like to think that they'll be there with us and walking across that stage with us."
Grace Fischer, who was in a classroom down the hall with Ella Seaver and Wasilnak, recalled the holiday spirit in the school on the day of the shooting. The students were looking forward to making gingerbread houses, but instead, their lives were forever changed. "As much as we've tried to have that normal, like, childhood and normal high school experience, it wasn't totally normal," she said. "But even though we are missing... such a big chunk of our class, like Lilly said, we are still graduating... We want to be those regular teenagers who walk across the stage that day and feel that, like, celebratory feeling in ourselves, knowing that we've come this far."
As the students prepare to leave their "bubble" of a community and venture out into the world, they also reflect on the trauma they continue to carry with them. Loud noises still make them jump, and they are constantly aware of exits in a room. Many have sought therapy to cope with post-traumatic stress, depression, and anxiety.
But as they leave the comfort and protection of their town, the students also see it as an opportunity to make new memories and meet new people. Matt Holden, who was in a classroom down the hall from the shooting, shared his thoughts on leaving Newtown. "I think leaving and being able to make new memories and meet new people... we'll be more free to kind of write our own story," he said. "And kind of, you know, not let this one event that happened because we were very young define our lifetimes."
Ehrens also sees leaving Newtown as a chance to break free from the system they have been a part of for the past 12 years. "It definitely feels for me that we're kind of stuck in the same system that we've been stuck in for past 12 years," she said. "For me, I feel like it's definitely going to get better and be able to break free of that system and just be able to become my own person rather than, again, the Sandy Hook kid."
Despite leaving their hometown, the students say that Sandy Hook will always be a part of them. And it has also inspired them to be advocates for change. All five seniors have been active in the Junior Newtown Action Alliance, working towards preventing gun violence through measures like gun control. Last week, they even met with Vice President Kamala Harris to discuss their experiences and call for change.
Their fallen classmates continue to motivate their activism, and they all plan to continue their efforts after high school. For Seaver, the alliance has given her a sense of purpose and a way to make a difference. "Putting my voice out there and working with all of these amazing people to try and create change really puts a meaning to the trauma that we all were forced to experience," she said. "It's a way to feel like you're doing something. Because we are. We're fighting for change and we're really not going to stop until we get it."
Ehrens and Fischer both plan to study law and become civil rights lawyers. Holden wants to use his political science major to push for gun policy changes. And Wasilnak, who has always felt a need to do something more since the tragedy, intends to continue speaking out against gun violence. "For me, something bigger needed to come out of it, or else it would have been all for nothing," she said.
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