It's my 49th birthday today. I am taking the day off and spending it with my family at our house on the east end of long island.
For most of my adult life, my self image has been of the 20 year old me. The young smartass punk kid with a chip on his shoulder out to prove something to the world. That caused me some problems in my 20s and early 30s but worked out pretty well in the end.
That's all started to change in the past couple years. I've got a daughter in college and another planning to go next year. I'm starting to notice some gray hairs when the light hits my head a certain way. And I see a different person in the pictures others take of me. I see the wrinkles and the natural aging. And no Tereza I am not ever going to do the nip/tuck thing. That is most definitely not me.
My self image is changing and I'm starting to accept it. I'm getting older, more successful, and also a tad bit slower. I had to go back to yoga this year to deal with the aches and pains largely brought on by years of stress and bad posture. It has worked. I feel great. The Gotham Gal and I have learned to accept that our kids don't need us as much, that they want to make their own choices, and we have let them do that. Parenting is always the hardest thing to learn but teaches you the most.
Anyway, I am happy with the aging process. I like who I have become and who the people around me have become. My partner Brad told me that next year when I turn 50 I won't be able to pretend I am not middle age. Well I think I gave up pretending that in the past few years. I'm enjoying middle age and looking forward to what it brings.
