May 25th 2024.
Did you know that almost 7 out of 10 women have never been to a concert alone? It's true. But for Nat Arney, a dedicated music fan, attending gigs by herself has been a regular occurrence for almost ten years now. She specifically remembers the moment she decided to take the plunge and go to her first solo event - a rock concert featuring the band Ash back in 2015. "I was tired of constantly missing out on seeing bands and artists that I liked, just because no one I knew wanted to go with me," Nat shares with The Agency. And so, she made a bold decision to just go on her own and let others join her if they wanted to.
Of course, it wasn't easy at first. Nat admits feeling a bit nervous, but she soon realized that she wasn't the only one attending solo. This realization made her feel less awkward about it. "As a woman, there's always a fear about going to gigs alone, but unfortunately, this is the case no matter what you do," she says. She also points out that when she was younger and went with friends, she felt less safe due to being targeted a few times. Now, as a more confident adult, she feels much more comfortable flying solo.
While attending concerts alone has become second nature to Nat, the thought of going to festivals by herself is still a bit daunting. But she has developed her own personal protocol to ensure her safety. She emphasizes the importance of always having a plan and letting someone know where she is. "I also recommend checking if the venue has any safety procedures in place for those feeling uncomfortable or if there's any poor behavior towards you. Safe Gigs for Women also has some great advice for attendees, but more importantly, for bystanders to take action," Nat details.
Sam Espensen, now 50, has been attending gigs alone since she was in her thirties. Initially, it was because her friends were settling down and having kids, making them unavailable to accompany her. But now, she deliberately chooses to go alone, although she still attends gigs with friends as well. "I was definitely nervous at first, but it's been a game changer for me," Sam shares from her home in Bristol. Being neurodivergent, she finds it easier to attend solo because she doesn't like feeling too crowded or overwhelmed.
Sam has a routine when attending gigs by herself. She arrives early to scope out the venue, usually leaves before the end to avoid crowds, and can do whatever she wants without impacting anyone else's good time. "In my experience, it's a great thing to do because no one is judging you, and there's always someone happy to strike up a conversation if you're feeling chatty," she says.
For 29-year-old Lake Faith, attending gigs solo has become a way to connect with other queer and alt-metal fans. They specifically wanted to see their favorite band, The Wonder Years, enough times to get over their nerves about going alone. "I've been going to gigs alone for years now, and it feels like a way of treating myself. It helps me reconnect with myself," Lake, who lives in London, explains. They also find it easier to enjoy the music and atmosphere without worrying about looking silly.
Lake has a routine when attending gigs alone, which includes arriving early, getting their bearings, and treating themselves to a pint of cider before finding a good spot in the crowd. "I have been known to do Duolingo or eat a protein bar between sets!" They laugh. "I never grew out of my emo phase, and my taste in music is questionable, so if I didn't go alone, I'd miss out on a lot." Lake has also joined a WhatsApp group for queer alt and metal fans and has been adopted into friend groups at gigs. "It's a great way to make friends," they add.
But not everyone feels as confident as Nat, Sam, and Lake when it comes to attending gigs solo. A new study by Viagogo found that almost 7 out of 10 women have never been to a concert alone, and they're twice as likely as men to avoid going solo due to safety concerns or lack of confidence. The research also revealed a clear gender divide, with half of men reporting attending a gig alone compared to just over a quarter of women.
In 2018, a YouGov poll showed alarming levels of harassment at music festivals, with almost half of female festivalgoers under 40 reporting unwanted sexual behavior. Likewise, 22% of all festivalgoers faced assault or harassment, and 30% of women overall. This shows that, unfortunately, women still face gender barriers when it comes to attending gigs solo. But the future looks promising, with more and more people feeling confident and safe attending gigs alone. As Taylor Swift's Eras tour makes its way to Europe, fans are sharing safety tips and making friendship bracelets to swap, creating a sense of community.
There are also many Facebook groups dedicated to solo festivalgoers, providing them with a community to connect with before attending. But the bottom line is that everyone, regardless of gender, sexuality, race, or anything else, should feel confident, safe, and happy attending gigs alone. So, grab your cowboy boots, glitter, and maybe even a friendship bracelet, because going to gigs solo is very much in.
For more information on staying safe at gigs, visit Safe Spaces Now - UN Women UK, Safe Gigs for Women, and the Mayor of London's Women's Night Safety Charter. And if you have a story to share, get in touch by emailing [email address].
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