November 9th 2023.
When Patrick Dempsey stepped out at the Venice Film Festival in August this year, he reminded us all that he's still McDreamy at 57. With his pinstripe suit and perfectly quaffed grey hair, his presence was, as always, impeccable. So, it's no surprise that he was crowned People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive.
When he heard the news, Patrick said, "I'm glad it's happening at this point in my life. It's nice to have the recognition." It is indeed nice to see a man who is aging like a fine wine get the recognition he deserves, especially in a youth-obsessed society. In fact, People have honored many men aged 45 plus, including Paul Rudd, Idris Elba, Richard Gere, and Harrison Ford.
However, the picture is a little different when it comes to female celebrities. In 2014, People Magazine scrapped its Sexiest Woman Alive Award after crowning Kate Upton the one and only winner. Meanwhile, Maxim has published a similar ranking since 2000, naming its Hot 100. The oldest ever winner was Ashley Graham in 2023 at 35. While it's great that older female celebrities were finally recognised for their achievements in 2023 – Michelle Yeoh, Jennifer Coolidge, and Angela Bassett were the darlings of awards season – the same cannot be said for older women being celebrated for their "hotness".
Jane Evans, founder of the Uninvisibility Project, which aims to raise the profile of women over 51, explains why. She says, "According to society, women have no use once we are no longer fertile. Our sexuality is based upon our fertility. The younger you are, the more fertile you are, the more attractive you are. We are basically written off at our halfway point in life."
Jane continues, "Little girls are told that once they get to a certain age, they have two options: old witch, or sweet grandma. Meanwhile, men get to be the silver fox. Where is the silver vixen?"
It's probably not a surprise to hear that the silver fox trope is "yet another sexist trope". Jane says, "Men's sexual attractiveness comes from their power, wisdom, and experience - traits that come with age, so we celebrate men getting older."
This is backed up by a 2019 study by the University of Copenhagen that analysed the adjectives used to describe men and women in 3.5 million books. The top adjectives for women included "beautiful", "lovely", "sexy", and "fertile". For men, they were "brave", "rational", "reliable", and "righteous".
Jane wants to see more realistic images of women at midlife, saying, "I'm constantly looking at women in their 40s and beyond who have perfect skin, without a single wrinkle. Where are the midlife women who look like my friends and I?"
Model Silvina Neder knows she's an exception. After noticing her first grey hair in her 20s, she spent years dying her curls, believing that "it was part and parcel of being a woman". But after moving to London at 47, Silvina started letting her hair grow out and it kickstarted her modelling career. She says, "Thanks to my grey hair and newfound confidence, I've done shoots for magazines, fashion brands, and acted in television commercials."
Silvina wants other women to "look the way they want" and not feel pressure to represent themselves artificially. She says, "We are so often influenced by the eyes of others. But we can be beautiful at any age."
So, while Patrick Dempsey's award is undeniably deserved, it's a harsh reminder of the double standards of male and female ageing. It's time to embrace the beauty of growing older, together.
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