November 24th 2024.
As the year 2024 rolled around, I found myself in a dark and desperate place. For 18 long months, I had been battling chronic postnatal depression, feeling like a failure as a mother and a partner. I couldn't see a way out of the overwhelming darkness that consumed me.
I had come to terms with the idea of ending it all, when something caught my eye. A beautiful bouquet of flowers, sitting on a bench, seemingly waiting for me. Those flowers would end up being my saving grace.
My struggles with mental health began soon after giving birth to my second child in September of 2022. At first, I thought it was just the typical adjustment period, trying to balance a newborn with a sick four-year-old. But as time went on, I found myself spiraling into severe anxiety and depression, taking a toll on both myself and my family.
It wasn't until December of 2022 that I was officially diagnosed with postnatal depression. I tried various forms of therapy and even spent time in a PND ward, fighting for over a year to overcome my struggles. But it seemed like the darkness was never going to lift, and I began to lose hope.
So, on March 8, 2024, I made the decision to end my life. I arrived at the train station, expecting to go through with my plan without any interference. But then, I saw those flowers. And something inside me shifted.
Curiosity and a feeling of being drawn to them led me closer to the bench where they sat. Attached to the flowers was a small note that read, "Adopt me. Where there is a woman, there is magic." In that moment, I felt like those flowers were meant to find me on that very day, when I needed them the most.
Suddenly, I felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe I did matter. Maybe my journey wasn't over. And maybe, just maybe, I still had more to give.
With a change in mindset, I made the decision to get on the train and go home to my family. I let my husband know where I was so he could come and pick me up. And from that day on, I continued to seek help and support for my postnatal depression.
A few weeks later, I reached out to the person who had left the flowers at the station. I wanted them to know just how much their small act of kindness had impacted me. It turned out to be a wedding florist named Sarah McCaig, the owner of Olive Owl Flowers. She had left the flowers as a way to celebrate International Women's Day.
We started chatting, and both realized that we wanted to do something more. So, we came up with the #PetalsOfPositivity campaign. The idea was for florists across the country to leave free flowers in public spaces for people to find. Our hope was to brighten someone's day and remind them that better days are coming, just like those flowers had done for me.
Since then, we have had 60 different florists sign up for the campaign, and it brings us so much joy to know that we may be making a difference in someone's life. We also make sure to include information on the notes attached to the flowers on how people can access support if they need it.
I know firsthand that when you hit rock bottom, it's hard to think rationally. And for friends and family, it can be difficult to know how to help. My advice is to simply be there. Sometimes, all we need is for someone to sit in the darkness with us, knowing that we are not alone.
While a bouquet of flowers may not solve all of our problems, it can serve as a physical reminder that there is always light at the end of the tunnel and that we have the strength to get through the tough times. I am forever grateful to Sarah and her flowers for giving me that reminder and for giving my children their mother back.
As told to Cover Media's Deborah Cicurel, this is my story. If you have a story you would like to share, please reach out. And don't forget to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.
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