We used to be really bad at raising indoor plants. We kept doing what we thought worked, blissfully ignored the signs, and then realized it was too late. The plant was dying (or dead) and there was no coming back.
Thanks to my wife’s diligence, we’ve gotten a lot better at raising indoor plants over the years. That happens because she consistently invests time and energy, ensures they get what they need, and gets ahead of problems.
One of my graduate school Professors used to tell stories about former students who used to come to him for help. They shared how they were always traveling for work and then dealing with fractured family relationships. What surprised him was that they nearly always expressed surprise.
To which he’d say – “I’m surprised you’re surprised”
It turns out relationships are a lot like raising plants. As with raising plants, there often are points of no return. We need to keep investing time, energy, and care – in ways that work for the others in the relationship. We need to read the signs and get ahead of problems. And, hopefully, we don’t get in our own way and cause problems that wreck a functioning relationship.
Of course, not all relationships need to be maintained. Sometimes, the most important thing we do is replace a plant that wasn’t working in our space with a new one.
But it matters that we are proactive and intentional in how we approach all this.
Being proactive and intentional doesn’t guarantee good outcomes. We’re dealing with humans after all. But, like all good processes, we put ourselves in situations where we’re most likely to have good outcomes in the long run.
In the final analysis, that’s all that matters.
