February 15th 2025.
As human beings, we all strive for new beginnings and a fresh start at some point in our lives. It can be daunting, but also exciting to leave behind the familiar and venture into the unknown. But what happens when our past follows us, even in a new country?
This week, we received a letter from a reader who made the brave decision to move to the UK for a fresh start, leaving behind a serious boyfriend in Lithuania. They were meant to join her, but he was offered a good job and decided to stay a little longer. After six years of trying to make it work, they finally called it quits. But now, she's pregnant with another man's baby and can't help but think about her ex.
Long-distance relationships are no easy feat. It takes more than just saying "we'll make it work" to truly make it work. It requires constant communication, trust, and a willingness to make sacrifices. In this case, despite their efforts, distance proved to be the downfall of their relationship. It's a sad reality, but sometimes love is not enough.
Now, our reader finds herself in a complicated situation. She's seeing a local guy and unexpectedly became pregnant. Her partner wants to move in and start a family, but she can't stop thinking about her ex. She still speaks to him regularly, but hasn't told him about the pregnancy. She's torn between her current relationship and the one she left behind.
It's understandable that she's feeling conflicted. This unexpected pregnancy has made everything feel more real and immediate. But before making any decisions, she needs to ask herself if her ex is truly her lost love. If they were meant to be together, wouldn't they have found a way to be together by now? Perhaps she's built up this relationship in her head, and the reality of being with him may not be as perfect as she imagines.
The most pressing issue at hand is whether she's ready for parenthood. It's a big responsibility and requires a lot of commitment. She needs to prioritize and think carefully about what she truly wants. Instead of worrying about the morals of her situation, she needs to focus on what's best for her and the baby.
The first step is to make a decision about the pregnancy. She can seek guidance from resources like the BPAS website. It's important to not let the past hold her back from moving forward. She's created a new life for herself in the UK, and she needs to put all her energy into it. It's time to stop looking over her shoulder and embrace the present.
She also needs to stop contacting her ex and allow him to find happiness with someone else. As for her current boyfriend, she shouldn't let him move in unless she's sure about their relationship. They can still co-parent without living together.
In the end, it's important for our reader to make a decision that she won't regret. Life is full of unexpected challenges, but it's how we handle them that truly defines us. And remember, if you ever need advice on sex and dating, don't hesitate to reach out to me, Laura, your friendly neighborhood counselor and columnist. And if you have a story to share, I'd love to hear from you. Just send me an email.
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