Patients share their biggest regrets with a cancer nurse of 30 yrs.

Wish I had shared more moments with my kids.

November 30th 2023.

Patients share their biggest regrets with a cancer nurse of 30 yrs.
For almost 30 years, Louise Spence has been helping people with cancer come to terms with their diagnosis. Working as an oncology clinical case manager, she has worked at The Royal Marsden, The Christie in Manchester, and Bupa UK since 2005. As a qualified cancer nurse, Louise has seen and heard many things and has a unique insight into the struggles of those living with or dying from cancer.

When patients feel like they can't be open with their loved ones during their gruelling treatment, Louise is there to listen and answer any questions they have. She often hears recurring themes, but what she hears most often are the regrets many end-of-life patients share.

One of the most common themes Louise hears is the importance of living in the moment. She encourages patients to focus on the present rather than worrying about the past or the unknown.

Another regret she often hears is “I wish I'd spent less time working.” Cancer forces us to re-evaluate how we spend our time, and can lead patients to wish they'd spent more time doing the things they love with their loved ones.

Thirdly, Louise hears people wish they'd gone to the doctor sooner. People are often guilty of putting off going to the doctor, but early diagnosis can vastly improve outcomes. Louise reminds us to always speak to a doctor about any changes to our body as soon as possible.

What's more, Louise often hears patients regret not pushing for their symptoms to be investigated further. Nobody knows your body better than you, and so it's important to advocate for yourself if you feel something isn't right.

Patients also express concerns about the physical changes their treatment may cause, such as losing their hair or facial puffiness. Louise reminds us that whatever treatment we choose, we are so much more than our appearance.

Finally, Louise hears patients worrying about who they can talk to about how they're feeling. Cancer can be a lonely experience, and it can be difficult to discuss the specifics of cancer with loved ones. Louise reminds us of the importance of speaking to nurse specialists and taking up offers of free counselling.

Louise has heard many stories during her career, but one of the most touching is the regret she hears from parents of young children with terminal cancer. They may feel upset that they won't get to see their child do certain things in the future or worry that their child will forget them. Louise suggests memory boxes, letters, or cards for landmark future events to help patients feel more connected.

Cancer is a difficult and emotional journey, but with the help of professionals like Louise, we can find comfort during some of the hardest moments of our lives.

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