We met a teenager in our neighborhood the other day. He’d come home for a quick paid side-project. We learnt that he was saving up ahead of college in the fall.
He shared that this was his second attempt at college. He went to a college in Montana last year and he experienced so much hate because he was from California. So much so that he decided to not go back after the first semester.
We wished him all the best with this second attempt.
While it is hard to know the full picture in stories like this, it got me reflecting about how we’re so wired to think in terms of “us” and “them.” And that’s without any notion of typical dividers like skin color or religion or political affiliation (which just amplify differences). He was a gentle Caucasian kid who likely looked no different than those who drove him away.
I remember thinking about this when I was in college as well. I was part of a cohort of 100 Indian kids out of 1000 “international students” out of an incoming cohort of 6000. You’d think the relatively small group of Indian kids would stick together. But, no.. 100 is plenty for all sorts of “others.” The primary excuses for division among us was language.
If it wasn’t that, it was something else. There’s always something.
We are social creatures and it is in our nature to seek affiliation. Being tribal and exclusionary is the dark side of that propensity.
It is a reminder of just how hard it is to be inclusive and open to differences.
We won’t always succeed but it is important to try – both for the well-being of those “others” and ourselves. Our ability to make peace with those differences outside of us is generally indicative of the peace within.
