August 11th 2024.
As the evening was winding down, I received a message from a new fan, Ben*. He was curious to chat with me and asked about my day. It seemed like he was waiting for the right moment to request a picture, but as we continued to exchange messages, it became clear that he had something else on his mind.
"I'm straight," he confessed. "But I came across your profile and didn't realize you were trans."
This wasn't the first time this had happened to me. For context, I am 5ft6in with size double-D boobs and a bum that would make Kim K jealous. On paper, I am the dream of a straight man. That is, until they realize that I have a manhood that's probably bigger than their own.
It was this realization that prompted Ben to reach out to me. Men are curious creatures, after all. He explained that the more of my content he saw, the more he couldn't stop watching. This had caused him to question his sexuality for the first time.
"I don't really know what to do with this feeling," he confessed.
This wasn't an unusual occurrence for me. Actually, I receive these types of messages quite often from men who have always thought they were 100% straight. More often than not, they have come across my profile or stumbled upon some transgender porn that they liked, which led them to look for more and ultimately find me.
I shared this with Ben in the hopes of making him feel more comfortable, and it seemed to have worked. But no matter how many men slide into my DMs, these confessions never fail to frustrate me. It's sad that society has made them feel like they can't be open about their feelings, but it also makes me happy that they have found the courage to reach out to me.
Men are curious creatures. They are drawn to things that are taboo and a little bit different. To them, I am that forbidden fruit. But I want them to know that it's okay to be curious. I want them to free themselves from the guilt and shame that society has placed on them for even considering questioning their sexuality or exploring something outside of the "norm."
Growing up, I never felt like I belonged, but I didn't know why. I was always drawn to more feminine things, like playing with Barbies and wearing dresses. But I was always told that "boys shouldn't do those things." My parents were great and accepting, but there was a time when they were dismissive of my confusion, thinking it was just a phase or that I might be gay. But I knew it was deeper than that. Yes, I was attracted to guys, but I also knew that I was in the wrong body. This male body didn't feel like me.
It's a common misconception that all transgender individuals want to have bottom surgery. But for me, I have chosen not to have it. And that's something that attracts a lot of men to me. I seem to have a large following of men who are into my spicier content.
But my journey to self-acceptance wasn't easy. I would have loved to have someone to talk to who could understand what I was going through, but most of the time, I had to navigate my feelings alone. It took a lot of time and courage to fully accept and embrace my true self. Fortunately, content creation played a huge role in this journey for me. I started posting on Instagram as a way to express myself and connect with others who might be on a similar journey. I wanted to create a space where I could share my story, inspire others, and meet new people.
And while this was happening, I also gained a large following of men who were into my spicier content. So, I thought, why not monetize it? It took me some time to figure out what works and what doesn't on OnlyFans, but after about six months, something clicked. I found my niche and my audience. And eventually, I was able to quit my full-time job and start making serious money on the adult platform.
Of course, this was an adjustment for everyone, including my parents who were initially against it. They were worried about the reactions I would get from people on the site and if anyone who knew our family would find out. There is a lot of stigma surrounding content creation, but being on OnlyFans has done wonders for my confidence and overall happiness.
But the most fulfilling part of this journey for me is being able to help others who are still trying to find themselves. I hope these conversations with my fans help them, but if I'm being completely honest, they help me just as much. Speaking to someone like Ben, who openly admitted that my not having had bottom surgery but still having a feminine allure is attractive to him, never gets old. It's reassuring to hear someone compliment my body and feel wholly accepted.
Of course, there will always be judgment and nasty comments from a select few, but I try not to take them to heart. Instead, I try to understand what they might be going through personally. In fact, I have even reached out to a few of my trolls, and I discovered that they do it not because they hate me or my body, but because they hate themselves for liking me.
For that reason, I don't hold their bad words against them. I am always open to speaking with anyone who's feeling this way because I know firsthand how lonely and confusing the journey to self-acceptance can be. Everyone has their own journey with their sexuality, and it's okay to talk about it. And if my little corner on OnlyFans can help someone with that, then I think it's money well spent.
*Name has been changed.
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