August 30th 2024.
I have a confession to make. I recently slept with a former flame that I had previously dumped because he just wasn't worth my time. I shared this with my friend over a glass of wine at our favorite bar, where we often catch up and share our sexual experiences since we last saw each other. Our conversations always involve analyzing every little detail, and this time was no different. I knew all of his flaws before jumping into bed with him again - he's emotionally unavailable, not the best outside of the bedroom, and just an overall jerk. But there's no denying the amazing sexual chemistry between us. My friend, who never holds back her opinions, gives me a disapproving look and says I should have stayed away from him. And I have to admit, she's right. But the truth is, I couldn't resist going back for a third time.
I've had my fair share of lovers over the years. When I was younger, my vagina seemed to have a mind of its own when it came to choosing who I slept with. There was a certain thrill in doing something naughty, but it often came with a side of guilt. It took me a long time to realize that there's no point in beating myself up for sleeping with someone who may not have been the best choice. So if reading about my mistakes and why I no longer regret them can make you feel a little better about your own experiences, then I'm happy to share.
Let me take you back to over a decade ago when I was in a nightclub and met a hot stranger in the toilet queue. He was charming, charismatic, and just the type of man I was attracted to in my early 20s. We exchanged numbers, but I didn't expect anything to come of it. But a few nights later, he texted me and we ended up making out by the bins outside his house before heading inside for some fun. Not the most romantic setting, I know. The sex was amazing, but the problems started afterwards. He played games with me, only texting when he felt like it and never making time for a real date. But in the heat of the moment, I forgot all of the red flags and reasons why I should have walked away.
I tried to end things a few times, but he always managed to coax me back. Eventually, he moved away for work, and we lost touch. I felt embarrassed and foolish for believing he would change and for enjoying sex with someone who didn't treat me with respect. But it wasn't the first time I had chosen a sexual partner poorly. I once had a brief fling with someone who hit on my friend just hours after sleeping with me. And yet, I still blamed myself for these experiences.
But the truth is, we all make mistakes. We all have moments where we make bad choices. And none of us, no matter who we have sex with, deserve to be treated poorly. I've spent far too long beating myself up over my choice in sexual partners, but I've finally learned to let go of that guilt. Instead of dwelling on the negative, I choose to laugh at the immature lovers who couldn't treat me with respect. It has taken time, but I've come to accept that no one is perfect, and I don't regret my sex life. Every experience, the good, the bad, and the ugly, has shaped me into the person I am today.
So if you've found yourself in a similar situation, don't hold onto that guilt. Learn from your mistakes, laugh at the memories, and move on to the next one. As they say, you win some, you lose some. And trust me, there's no point in torturing yourself for sleeping with the "wrong" person. We all deserve to enjoy our sexual experiences without feeling guilty about it. So let's stop the self-blame and start embracing our choices, no matter how "wrong" they may seem. And if you have a story to share, I'd love to hear it. Let's break the taboo and have an open conversation about sex and dating. Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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