My mother's life was saved when my grandmother was placed in a care facility.

As I sat on the bench outside my mom's building, I couldn't help but notice the familiar sight of her and my grandma approaching. Mom was leading the way, while grandma trailed behind in a grumpy and sullen manner.

As soon as Mom reached me, she let out a sigh and exclaimed, "I can't take this anymore." She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before heading off to get some coffee. Grandma caught up to us and I greeted her with a hug. She leaned in and whispered, "I can't take this anymore" in my ear.

It had been a few months since Mom had taken on the responsibility of caring for Grandma. It was a sad situation, but also somewhat comical how they both despised it yet continued to stick with it. I had a feeling from the beginning that it wasn't going to work out. They were always close, but their personalities were just too different.

It's hard to pinpoint exactly when we realized that Grandma needed extra help. She had always been so vibrant and full of energy, walking miles instead of taking the bus just because she didn't like it. But then she started calling Mom at odd hours, like 1am, asking her to come home. It was strange because they hadn't lived together in 30 years.

A few months later, Grandma called me to tell me she had gotten lost on her way to the bank. She had become confused and had no idea where she was. Eventually, she had to ask a stranger for directions to find her way. I tried to brush it off as just a result of new buildings in the area, but deep down I knew something was wrong. I think Grandma knew it too, but she refused to admit it.

When I suggested that she might need help, she brushed me off and insisted that she was fine. It wasn't until Mom started visiting twice a week, despite living and working 30km away, that we realized how bad things were. Eventually, Mom rented a studio in her building and moved Grandma there.

I had my reservations about this arrangement, but Mom remained optimistic. She was juggling so much - cleaning, shopping, doctor visits, and even assisting Grandma with daily tasks like bathing and taking medicine. It wasn't until the doctors diagnosed her with dementia that we knew the full extent of her condition.

I did everything I could to support Mom, taking Grandma to doctor's appointments and giving Mom a much-needed break whenever I could. I had always been close with both of them, and one of the reasons I chose to freelance was to have the flexibility to be there for them in this way.

Unfortunately, Grandma's condition made things incredibly difficult for all of us. Despite Mom's best efforts, Grandma was often grumpy and rude, sometimes even trying to hit her - a common behavior in dementia patients. We knew the symptoms of dementia, such as memory loss and mood swings, but it was still a struggle to deal with.

There was one instance where Mom had to leave Grandma alone at home, and she locked her in the studio for a few hours out of fear that she might wander off and get lost. However, we soon discovered that Grandma no longer knew how to use a phone, and she ended up banging on the door until the neighbors called Mom.

Desperate to keep track of Grandma's whereabouts, Mom even bought an Airtag, but Grandma refused to wear it. This resulted in her disappearing on three separate occasions, causing us great worry and stress.

Despite all the challenges and difficulties, Mom continued to do her best to care for Grandma. And even though she was often grumpy and rude, we knew deep down that she was still the same loving and vibrant woman we had always known.
As I sat on a bench near my mom's building, I noticed them approaching - Mom leading the way with my dear grandma trailing behind, looking downcast and sullen. My heart sank as I saw their demeanor, knowing that something was not right. As they reached me, Mom leaned in for a quick kiss on the cheek before heading off to grab some coffee. Grandma finally caught up to me and I gave her a hug, but she whispered in my ear, "I can't stand this anymore." It was clear that both of them were struggling with their current situation, even though they were trying to make it work.

My mom had been taking care of my grandma for a few months now, and it was taking a toll on her. I couldn't help but feel for them, even though their constant bickering and clashing personalities made me want to laugh. Looking back, I knew that it was a mistake for my mom to take on this role. They had always been close, but they were also very different from each other. It was difficult to pinpoint when exactly we realized that my grandma needed extra help. After all, she had always been such an energetic and independent woman, who would rather walk miles to run an errand than take the bus.

The first red flag was when my grandma started calling my mom at odd hours, asking her to come home. It was strange because they hadn't lived together in over 30 years. Then a few months later, my grandma called me to say that she had gotten lost on her way to the bank. She was confused and disoriented, and had to ask a stranger for directions. I tried to brush it off as a result of the new buildings in the area, but deep down, I knew something was off. My grandma may have known it too, but she refused to admit it.

I tried to convince my grandma that she needed help, but she waved me off and insisted that she was fine. As her condition worsened, my mom started visiting her more often - despite living and working 30km away at a resort. Eventually, my mom ended up renting a studio in her building and moved my grandma in. I had my doubts, but my mom remained optimistic. She took on the role of caregiver, juggling everything from cleaning and shopping to doctor visits and daily walks. But as my grandma's condition progressed, my mom's duties also grew to include bathing, bathroom assistance, and even coaxing my grandma to eat or take her medication. That's when the doctors diagnosed her with dementia.

I did my best to support my mom in any way I could. I took my grandma to doctor's appointments and made sure to take my mom out for some much-needed distraction from everything that was happening at home. The three of us have always been close, which is one of the main reasons why I chose to go into freelancing - so I could be there for them in this difficult time. However, my grandma's condition made it hard for all of us. Despite my mom's best efforts, my grandma would often become grumpy and rude, lashing out or trying to hit my mom - a common occurrence among dementia patients.

We tried to educate ourselves on the symptoms of dementia, such as memory loss, mood swings, difficulty concentrating, and trouble speaking. My mom even bought an Airtag to keep track of my grandma's whereabouts, but she refused to wear it. As a result, my grandma managed to disappear on three occasions, causing us to worry and panic. One time, my mom had to leave her alone at home for a few hours and ended up locking her in the studio, thinking she was just a phone call away. But we soon discovered that my grandma no longer knew how to use a phone. It was a scary and desperate situation, but we were doing our best to make it work. Despite all the challenges, my mom continued to do the best she could for my grandma, even though it was taking a toll on her.

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