June 29th 2024.
It's no secret among his friends that he's having an affair. As the saying goes, you can't have your cake and eat it too. But that's exactly what this reader is trying to do. He's caught between his family and his much younger mistress, and he believes he has the perfect situation. However, things may soon change as his mistress is pressuring him to leave his wife, and she won't take no for an answer. Before we dive into today's advice, let's take a look at last week's dilemma, where a woman was struggling with body image issues after catching her husband watching porn.
The problem at hand is that this man is married to a wonderful woman, has two amazing children, and runs a successful business. From the outside, his life may seem perfect. But there's a catch - he also has a much younger lover who makes his life even more perfect. They both play golf at the same club, and it's an open secret among club members that they're together. There's no overlap between his wife and the club, as she's not a fan of golf. He even goes on golfing trips with his friends, where he can openly be with his lover. Although some members may disapprove, most people turn a blind eye and let him continue with his double life. He confesses that his sex life with his lover is amazing, and she does things that his wife would never dream of. In fact, he hasn't had satisfying sex with his wife in years. His lover is understanding of his situation, but she has started to ask when he plans to leave his wife. He's caught in a dilemma - he enjoys things as they are, but deep down he knows he can't continue like this forever.
Now, the advice. It's clear that you're enjoying the best of both worlds right now. Having a young and beautiful lover must be a huge ego boost for you. But the question is, would the thrill still be there if you were together all the time? Right now, you only see each other's best sides, but do you have enough in common to make a long-term relationship work? It's easy to have an exciting sex life with someone new, but maintaining a strong and fulfilling relationship is a whole different challenge.
It's not fair to blame your wife for the lack of excitement in your sex life. After being together for so long, it's natural for things to become a bit stale. Perhaps it's time to put in some effort and try to spice things up in your marriage. If you're not ready to give up your comfortable home life and risk losing the respect of your friends and family, then maybe it's time to reassess your priorities.
It sounds like you're only in this relationship for the amazing sex and the ego boost, which is a disservice to your lover. She deserves someone who will commit to her and make her a priority, not just someone who is using her for their own pleasure. If you feel guilty about your double life, it may be time to have an honest conversation with your wife. Explain to her what's been going on and why. If she's willing to work on your relationship, consider seeking help from a therapist who specializes in these matters.
But even if you're not ready to come clean to your wife, at least have the decency to let your lover go. Don't waste her time and emotions on someone who isn't fully committed to her. Instead, put your efforts into your marriage and being a good father to your children. They deserve a dad who puts family first.
Remember, Laura is a counsellor and columnist who is here to offer expert advice. If you have a sex and dating dilemma, don't hesitate to reach out for help. Send your problem to Laura via email and get the guidance you need.
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