November 2nd 2024.
Ah, the memories of teenage love and disastrous dates. I can't help but smile when I think about the hazy image of our nail-varnished hands intertwined. It takes me back to a simpler time, when all I had to worry about was oxbow lakes, Stephenie Meyer, and losing my virginity.
However, I must admit that the cinema was not the best choice for a date. In fact, some of my worst dates have been to the cinema. I remember one time I fell asleep, drooling on the shoulder of my date's Superdry top. Another time, I had a painful case of trapped wind from holding in a fart for too long. And who could forget the time when my rumbling stomach interrupted a dramatic death scene.
But those are just minor inconveniences compared to what happened on one of my first dates with Adam*. We were in our Twilight era, and he had invited me to see the film with him. It seemed like a romantic idea at the time, especially since he had borrowed all my Twilight books. I must admit, I thought it was the sexiest, most intellectual thing ever.
Oh, and let's not forget that he had long hair and was in a band. I felt like I was living my own Geordie version of a rom-com. However, the reality of the date did not match up to my fantasies. For starters, it was dark. So dark that I couldn't even see what I was doing.
As the movie began, I was excited to be alone with him in the dark. I couldn't help but fantasize about him holding my hand or even touching my leg. But as the film went on, I found myself holding my breath and not moving. I was too nervous and caught up in the unsettling attractiveness of the undead, emo Edward Cullen. Adam was just as invested in the film, and we were both completely engrossed.
But as the credits started to roll, with the promise of a Paramore soundtrack, I felt a kiss brewing. This was it, the moment I had been dreaming about and reading Cosmo and Louise Rennison novels for. I had to be ready, I had to be perfect.
However, things took a turn for the worse when I reached into my bag to quickly apply my mam's lipstick before the lights came up. In my nervousness, I grabbed what I thought was the lipstick, only to realize too late that it was a tampon. I was horrified and my stomach dropped as I looked down at it.
But thankfully, Adam saw the funny side of it and burst out laughing. His laughter was infectious, and it helped soothe my embarrassment as I wished the cinema's sticky carpets would swallow me whole. Of course, talking about periods with boys was a taboo back then, but Adam comforted me and even gave me a kiss. Overall, it turned out to be a pretty good first-boyfriend experience.
However, even now, all these years later, I can't help but cringe when I think about it. The memory of my shame still lingers whenever I go to the cinema. And to make matters worse, Adam never returned my Twilight books. Oh well, at least I have a funny story to tell now.
But I must say, I do miss those simpler times when all I had to worry about was teenage love and not studying for my GCSEs. Those were the days.
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