September 18th 2024.
It was a typical evening in our household, with our 14-year-old daughter Englyn playing around with her mom, Brandy, and taking silly selfies. We said goodnight to her and went to bed, thinking nothing of it. But the next morning, our world was shattered when we discovered that Englyn had tragically taken her own life. There are no words to express the immense grief and devastation that we still feel four years later.
Englyn was a beautiful and kind young girl, the baby of our family and the center of our attention. We couldn't understand how this could have happened. She had shown no signs of depression, in fact, she was a vibrant and lively girl who loved dancing and had dreams of opening her own studio. We were at a loss.
As we tried to make sense of our daughter's death, we came across information about the dangers of social media, specifically how it targeted teenagers. It sounded all too familiar and made us wonder what Englyn may have been exposed to on her phone. So, we went back and combed through her social media accounts, only to find an overwhelming amount of self-harm content and posts on Instagram. It was like a punch to the gut. We were not experts on social media, but we quickly learned that these platforms often use manipulative tactics to keep users hooked, regardless of the potential harm it may cause.
Over the past two decades, studies have linked the rise of social media to increased rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm, and even suicide among adolescents. It's a terrifying thought, and we can't help but wonder how many other children like Englyn have been exposed to harmful content and how many have suffered the same fate.
One particular video we found on Englyn's phone mirrored the exact scene of when we discovered her. Shockingly, it was still being circulated on Instagram for a year after her death, and even after it was reported and removed, it was allowed back up. It was a painful realization that our daughter's death could have been prevented if the platform had taken action. We also learned that Englyn had been sneakily staying up at night to access these platforms, completely absorbed in them for hours on end. It was something we never knew until after her death.
We couldn't help but wonder how many more children like Englyn had seen that video and felt compelled to try it themselves. This realization only fueled our determination to hold social media platforms accountable for the harm they are causing. We believe that stricter safety measures need to be put in place to protect young users, and it's why we filed a lawsuit against Meta (formerly known as Facebook) more than two years ago.
But it's not just about content moderation or censorship. It's about these companies refusing to take responsibility for the harm they are causing while continuing to prioritize profit over the safety of their users. As parents, it's our duty to protect our children, but we can't do it alone. We need the platforms to make necessary changes in their design to prioritize safety and remove addictive features that keep children scrolling for hours on end.
We never imagined ourselves as activists, but after our daughter's death, we knew we had to do something. It was a chance encounter with Prince Harry and Meghan that led us to launch The Parents' Network, in partnership with The Archewell Foundation. Through this network, we have found a supportive community and a safe space to share our stories and advocate for change.
We have been joined by other parents who have also experienced the devastating effects of social media on their children. It's a diverse group, united by a common bond – the loss or near-loss of a child associated with social media. We never would have met under different circumstances, but we are grateful for the support and strength we have found in each other.
When we first met Prince Harry and Meghan, they expressed their condolences and asked what they could do to help. As fellow parents, they understood our pain and made a promise to remember Englyn by working towards a safer online space for all children. It may seem unlikely that a duke and duchess would have anything in common with a couple from Louisiana, but our love for our children unites us.
We will continue to fight for change, not just for our daughter, but for all the children who have been harmed by social media. We don't want to see any more childhoods lost to the endless scrolling of negative content or the lack of safety measures in place. We also call on social media platforms to improve their reporting and responsiveness to harmful content. Our hope is that no other parent will have to experience the same pain and grief that we have endured.
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