November 3rd 2024.
As I approached the nursery door, my heart swelled with joy at the sight of my daughter Minna running towards me. Her energy was infectious and I couldn't help but smile. "Did you have fun today?" I asked, eager to hear about her day. "Yes, Mummy!" she exclaimed before darting towards the car. I quickly followed, not wanting to lose sight of her in the busy parking lot.
As I buckled her into her car seat, I couldn't help but ask, "Who did you play with today?" Her answer caught me off guard and a pang of worry shot through me. "No one," she said with a happy smile. Although I tried to maintain my own smile, inside I couldn't help but feel a little sad at the thought of my sweet girl playing alone in the corner of the playground.
In her young age, I knew she was too small to understand the concept of cliques and popularity, but I couldn't bear the thought of her feeling left out or rejected. I remembered my own school days, where all I wanted was to be included and have friends to play with. The feeling of being left out or not good enough still haunted me.
But I also knew that Minna was a social butterfly and didn't struggle to make friends. Outside of nursery, we had a circle of close friends and playdates lined up. I reassured myself that her lack of playmates in nursery was just a phase and she was still learning how to interact with her peers.
However, when another mum asked me about a party that Minna hadn't been invited to, my heart sank. I couldn't help but worry about her social life and whether she would have close friends like I did in nursery. The thought of her being excluded or not having anyone to play with made me anxious. Even choosing a primary school for her became a daunting task as I wondered if she would make friends there.
I couldn't shake off the feeling that it was somehow my fault. Had I failed to make friends with the "cool mums" at nursery, resulting in Minna being left out? My husband tried to reassure me, but I couldn't stop my mind from racing with negative thoughts.
Despite my worries, I could see that Minna was happy and carefree as always. But I couldn't simply ignore my concerns. So, I decided to ask the nursery staff about her friendships. Their reply surprised me - Minna didn't have one best friend, but she played with everyone. The next day, when I asked her about her day, she excitedly listed off a handful of names of her playmates.
I realized that I couldn't force friendships for Minna. She was happy being herself and I didn't want to change that. I had to trust that things would naturally fall into place for her and that she would make friends in her own time. And as she grows up, I hope to instill in her the confidence to love herself, knowing that true friends will come along.
I also learned not to worry about not being invited to every nursery birthday party. I understood that there were many reasons for parents to host smaller parties, and it didn't mean that Minna wasn't liked or included. As a parent, I am grateful that my daughter's life is not a popularity contest and she has the freedom to make friends without any pressure.
As I watch Minna play and make new friends, I am reminded that she is only three years old and her life is anything but complicated. She has plenty of friends, and I am blessed that the friendship process is uncomplicated for her. My only job now is to nurture her confidence and self-love, and everything else will fall into place.
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