October 17th 2023.
No one should ever need to justify their decision to have a baby. I had certainly never questioned if I was too old to have one, until I was eight months pregnant.
I had taken my car to get washed and valeted when the owner noticed my bump. He brought me over a chair, out of kindness, and then proceeded to ask me a very inappropriate question: ‘How old are you?’
Despite being taken aback, I politely answered that I was 36. But his response was that I was ‘far too old’ to be having a baby. This was the first time I had ever been made to feel ashamed about my age, and it shook me up.
He continued to ask why I ‘waited so long,’ and, rather than giving him a sharp response, I simply said that I had been ‘busy.’ While this was partly true, there were many other reasons why it had taken me until my thirties to become a parent.
The truth is, no reason should be needed to justify when anyone decides to have a baby. Waiting until you feel ready is a perfectly good enough reason.
I had never thought of myself as being too old to have a baby, so it was particularly hurtful when this stranger, who I had never met before, felt entitled to make this judgement. He also began to tell me about the ‘difficulties’ of childbirth for ‘older’ women, which I found particularly insensitive.
Sadly, I am far from an anomaly. The average age of mothers is now 31, and the number of women having children after the age of 45 in England and Wales has almost risen by half in the past decade. But it appears that men in particular remain sceptical of older parents, particularly older mothers.
It’s almost like pregnant women’s bodies become public property and it seems impossible to ignore the unsolicited opinions that this seems to bring.
Thankfully, I have now had my baby and he is perfect. I am happy with the choices that I have made, but am still frustrated that I was made to feel ashamed of them.
No one should ever need to justify their decision to have a baby. Waiting until you feel ready is a perfectly good enough reason.
[This article has been trending online recently and has been generated with AI. Your feed is customized.]
[Generative AI is experimental.]
