Most people have kinky desires, but why do most people feel the need to hide it?

When it comes to getting down and dirty in the bedroom, we all have our own secret kinks and fantasies that we may be interested in trying out, but for various reasons, we haven't yet. Maybe we haven't found the right partner, or we feel embarrassed or nervous to explore our desires. In fact, a recent study revealed that up to 90% of women have a hidden sexual desire, ranging from orgies to voyeurism and exhibitionism.

To celebrate National Kink Month, a new research has been conducted and it found that a surprising number of people would be willing to sign a sex non-disclosure agreement before sleeping with a new partner, just to ensure that their kinks remain private. A whopping 37% of individuals said they would willingly sign such an agreement, while another 43% said they would consider it. The study, conducted by experts at dating app Flure, also revealed that kinks are more common than we might think. In fact, 50% of people are turned on by the idea of public sex and 49% are open to trying a threesome. Role play came in third place, with 41% expressing interest, while bondage and BDSM appealed to 30% and 27% of individuals respectively.

But despite having these secret desires, many of us are not comfortable discussing them with our partners. The study found that 61% of people have kinks that they have not revealed to their significant other, and 41% admitted to feeling more at ease discussing their sexual interests with their best friends rather than their partners.

So, how exactly would a sex NDA work and why are so many of us still keeping our kinks hidden? To answer these questions, we spoke to experts in the field.

Sex and relationship expert Serena Novelli defines kink as any sexual activity, fantasy or behavior that falls outside of what is considered traditional or "vanilla" sex. This could include role play, sensory experiences, power dynamics, or anything that adds excitement and novelty to intimacy. Ultimately, kink is about exploring our desires and deepening our connection with our partner in a consensual and safe way.

Over the years, society has become more accepting and open towards kinks, and as a result, they are becoming more normalized. However, the existence of a "sex NDA" shows that there are still some who feel embarrassed or ashamed of their own kinks. This can lead to internalized shame, which prevents individuals from fully embracing their desires.

But what exactly is a sex NDA and how does it work? According to Serena, it can provide couples with the freedom to explore their sexual desires without any worries. It can also be a reflection of the discomfort many people feel about being judged. While it may help build initial trust, true intimacy is fostered when partners feel safe enough to be open and honest about all aspects of themselves without the need for legal boundaries.

However, sex and relationship counselor Rhian Kivits points out that a sex NDA could create a power imbalance in the relationship. One partner may feel silenced by signing the agreement, which can leave them vulnerable to abuse and feeling like they cannot address any boundary violations. There is also the question of how the NDA is enforced and the impact it may have on trust.

When it comes to exploring kinks with a new partner, communication and consent are key. Rhian advises having open and honest conversations about sex and being confident enough to share your likes and preferences. When introducing your kinks, approach it with curiosity and be willing to explain and share your experiences. Be open to your partner's response and listen to their thoughts as well.

The same applies when exploring new territory with a long-term partner. Set boundaries and establish mutual consent, and be prepared to talk about any concerns or issues that may arise during the experience.

In the end, it's important to remember that exploring kinks should be a consensual and safe experience for both partners. If things don't go as planned, communicate openly and make any necessary adjustments for future encounters. Let's embrace and celebrate our kinks without feeling ashamed or embarrassed.

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