August 16th 2024.
When I saw Molly-Mae Hague on season five of Love Island, something about her really resonated with me. She's stunning, of course, and has an amazing fashion sense, but it was something else that caught my attention. It was the fact that she had a soft toy – a raggedy elephant named Ellie Belly – that she brought with her to the villa. It may seem like a small detail, but it was actually quite groundbreaking for someone on mainstream TV to openly show their attachment to a childhood toy.
As I watched Molly-Mae carry Ellie Belly around and snuggle with her in bed, I couldn't help but feel a sense of connection. You see, I have a love for teddy bears that goes way back to 1991. Over the years, I've collected a gangly bear named Barnaby, a Totoro from Japan, and most importantly, Muffin – an off-white bichon frisé that my dad got for me when he was away for work. Muffin holds a special place in my heart and has been with me since I was six years old.
Unlike my other teddies, who are safely tucked away in cupboards or at my mom's house, Muffin takes pride of place on my bed. I sleep with him almost every night, finding comfort in cuddling him and breathing in the scent of fabric softener. And while I no longer bring him on sleepovers or holidays, I still cherish him just as much as I did when I was a child.
But let's be real – not everyone understands the bond we have with our childhood toys. Some people may find it strange or childish for a grown woman to still sleep with a teddy bear. I've had boyfriends who have playfully teased me about it, and some have even tried to leave Muffin in compromising positions for a laugh. But for me, Muffin is more than just a stuffed toy – he's a reminder of my dad, who passed away. And according to psychotherapist Nicola Noél, cuddling with a teddy bear doesn't mean we're regressing or immature. In fact, it can be a healthy coping mechanism to manage stress and anxiety.
Nicola explains that cuddling a comfort object, whether it's a teddy bear or a blanket, can provide a sense of grounding and remind us of simpler times. And while some people may resist cleaning their comfort items because it alters their sensory qualities, it's not about hygiene – it's about preserving the emotional essence attached to them.
But what happens when our partners don't understand our attachment to our childhood toys? According to Dr Elena Touroni, it's important to have an open and understanding conversation about it. She suggests being compassionate and non-judgmental to help both partners respect each other's needs and perspectives.
If our attachment to our comfort items becomes too consuming, it may be time to reassess and find alternative sources of comfort. Dr Touroni recommends gradually reducing the amount of time spent with the item and finding other ways to relax, like a new bedtime routine or mindfulness practices. It's a process, and it's important to be patient with ourselves.
For me, cuddling with Muffin is just another part of my bedtime routine. Just like running a bath or listening to a calming sleep story, it helps me feel comforted and at peace. And at the end of the day, it's not hurting anyone else, so why should we care about the judgement of others? Do you have a similar story? I'd love to hear it – feel free to email me.
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