July 28th 2024.
At a recent networking event, a man named Luke opened up to me about the breakdown of his marriage and how he believed menopause played a significant role in it. This statement resonated with me and reaffirmed why I had written a book about menopause for men in the first place.
Luke had asked about my profession and upon learning that I was a menopause educator and coach, he shared his experience of his ex-wife's mood changes, decreased libido, and feelings of rejection. He made it clear that he wasn't blaming her or playing the victim, but simply trying to understand what had happened in their relationship. Like many men, he didn't know how to cope with the changes that his partner was going through.
This was not the first time a man had confided in me about the challenges of navigating menopause in a relationship. In fact, it was a common experience that many men struggled with. I explained to Luke the biological changes that occur during perimenopause, such as mood swings, energy fluctuations, and changes in sex drive. Luke was surprised to learn how widespread these difficulties were.
I also shared my own personal experience with perimenopause, including memory issues, physical symptoms, and fatigue. Another woman joined our conversation and shared similar experiences. Luke was taken aback by how common these struggles were and how women are often not informed about menopause until it happens to them.
He believed that if he had known about menopause earlier, it could have saved his marriage. But unfortunately, like many couples, they were not aware of the transition until it was too late. While not all men I have spoken to have lost their relationships due to menopause, they have all expressed the challenges and unexpected nature of their partner's menopause.
Some men have turned to the internet for information, but have found that most resources are geared towards women. They have expressed feelings of confusion, helplessness, and frustration. That is why I felt it was crucial to provide men with their own source of information and support for menopause. This knowledge can also benefit men's health.
My background in nutrition, personal training, and human resources has been instrumental in my journey as a menopause educator and author. I wanted to create a resource that not only provided factual and practical information about the role of lifestyle in midlife wellness, but also supported men's health and well-being.
This understanding and open communication can be transformative for both men and women. That is why in addition to my work with women, I also conduct workplace menopause awareness sessions for men and have a Facebook group specifically for men. These sessions not only cover symptoms and treatments, but also focus on effective communication and listening skills to help partners feel heard and understood.
Unfortunately, the topic of menopause is still considered taboo, making it difficult for both women and men to talk about it openly. Men, in particular, may feel afraid of saying the wrong thing. Society has played a role in perpetuating this silence by not openly discussing menopause or educating people about it from an early age. This has led to the normalization of the silence surrounding menopause.
Overall, Luke's words at the networking event reaffirmed the importance of my work and the need for open and honest conversations about menopause. By providing support and resources for both men and women, we can break the silence and create a better understanding of this natural and normal stage of life.
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