June 15th 2024.
In recent times, there has been a noticeable increase in the number of men seeking out the services of escorts for companionship rather than just for sexual reasons. This trend has caught the attention of many, including 47-year-old Michael*, who recalls his first encounter with an escort in what felt like a never-ending January of 2023. Despite working in finance, Michael did not book appointments with escorts for sex, but rather for the company they provided.
"I just wanted some company, to be honest," Michael shared with The Agency. "I had been divorced for almost two years, but I wasn't ready to meet anyone new or had the time for it." He elaborated, "I felt lonely. I wouldn't say I'm a social person, and since my separation, I've struggled greatly with social anxiety. Not seeing anyone for days on end was taking a toll on my mental health."
According to a 2019 YouGov poll, nearly half of UK men experience loneliness "sometimes, often, or all of the time," with one in five men admitting to having no close friends - double the number of women. This highlights the fact that many in the UK are facing an isolation crisis.
"Boys are often raised to believe that showing emotions and asking for help is a sign of weakness," explains Danny Zane, a therapist at North London Therapy. "We are not taught how to openly express our feelings, and this can lead to a lonely existence." Michael agrees, stating, "There is still a stigma around male loneliness, especially during difficult times like grieving or going through a divorce, as in my case."
Michael had dedicated most of his time to his career, studying, and working, and as a result, friends were not always a top priority. "After my divorce, it felt like I had no one," he admitted. While he did consider traditional therapy for companionship and someone to talk to, he ultimately decided against it, as it would feel like a "one-way conversation."
Instead, Michael, who works long hours and remotely, turned to sex workers to combat his loneliness. "I tried cam sites for a while, but I felt like something was missing - I wanted to be physically face-to-face with someone," he shared. That's when he came across Gigi Patsy, an escort with regular clients who seek her out not just for sex but also for companionship.
On the same evening he booked his first appointment through an escort directory, Michael met up with Gigi for the first time. "I was nervous, not knowing what to expect," he recalled. "But she completely changed my life." They sat in her living room, sipping tea and chatting for 40 minutes before Michael asked if they could extend their booking for another two hours. He found himself opening up to her about everything, from his divorce to his loneliness.
Since that first appointment, Michael has been visiting Gigi once every couple of weeks for two hours, mostly on weekends. This adds up to roughly 33 visits and 66 hours. Based on escort listings, the average hourly rate in the UK is £125 for an hour-long appointment, or £180 if the escort has to travel to meet their client. This means that Michael has spent approximately £8,250 over the past year and a half.
Various types of loneliness have been identified in evidence and literature, with emotional, social, and existential loneliness being the most common. Other types include transient loneliness, which comes and goes. It's clear that loneliness is a widespread issue that affects many in different ways. However, for Michael, the companionship provided by escorts has been a source of comfort and support during a difficult time in his life.
In recent years, there has been a noticeable increase in the number of men seeking the company of escorts for reasons other than sexual gratification. Michael, a 47-year-old man who works in finance, first experienced this when he hired an escort in January of 2023. He recalls feeling quite weighed down by life at that time and simply wanted someone to talk to. As he explains, he had been divorced for almost two years and wasn't ready to jump into another relationship. Plus, with his busy work schedule, it was hard to find the time to meet new people.
Loneliness was starting to take its toll on Michael's mental health. He had always struggled with social anxiety, but after his divorce, it became even more difficult for him to connect with others. Not having anyone to talk to for days on end was becoming unbearable. Unfortunately, he is not alone in this experience. A 2019 poll by YouGov found that almost half of UK men feel lonely at least some of the time, and one in five have no close friends – twice as many as women. This highlights a larger issue of isolation in the UK.
Therapist Danny Zane believes that society's expectations of men contribute to this loneliness. Boys are often taught to hide their feelings and not ask for help, which can be isolating. As he explains, being able to communicate openly and express emotions is essential for building intimate relationships. Without this ability, many men may lead a lonely existence.
Michael can relate to this. He feels that there is still a stigma around male loneliness, especially in difficult situations like grief or divorce. He admits that after his divorce, he felt like he had no one. He had dedicated himself to his career and didn't prioritize friendships. When he considered traditional therapy, he worried it would feel like a one-way conversation.
Instead, Michael turned to sex workers for companionship. He had tried cam sites, but he wanted a face-to-face connection. That's when he found Gigi Patsy, an escort who specializes in providing companionship to lonely clients. Michael was nervous before their first meeting, but Gigi quickly put him at ease. They chatted for 40 minutes over a cup of tea, and Michael felt comfortable enough to extend their booking for another two hours. He opened up about his life, from his divorce to his loneliness.
Since then, Michael has been seeing Gigi every couple of weeks for two hours at a time. This adds up to 33 visits and 66 hours over the past year and a half. Based on the average hourly rate in the UK, Michael estimates he has spent around £8,250 in total. This may seem like a lot, but for Michael, it's worth it for the companionship and human connection he receives.
There are different types of loneliness, and emotional, social, and existential loneliness are among the most commonly identified. Michael can relate to all three, but he also experiences transient loneliness – a feeling that comes and goes. While his visits with Gigi may not solve all of his loneliness, they certainly provide some relief and comfort for him. And for Michael, that is priceless.
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