September 22nd 2024.
At the age of 35, my husband and I decided to expand our family and try for a third baby. We were overjoyed when I became pregnant quickly, and we eagerly looked forward to becoming a family of five. However, everything changed one night when I started experiencing severe pain and bleeding on the left side of my body. It was a frightening experience, and little did I know at the time, but I was having an ectopic pregnancy. The only reason I was able to receive the necessary medical attention was because I stood my ground and insisted that the doctors listen to me. If I hadn't, the outcome could have been much more dire - I was at real risk of dying.
It was a normal November evening in 2019, and I was exercising when suddenly, I felt a popping sensation on my left side. At the time, I was around eight and a half weeks pregnant, having found out just two weeks earlier. I assumed I had overdone it and decided to take it easy. However, when I went to the bathroom, I noticed I was bleeding - a dark brown color, which indicated that it had been happening for some time. I tried to brush it off as a normal part of pregnancy, as I had experienced a similar situation with my second child. But deep down, I knew something was wrong. Despite my gut feeling, I tried to continue as normal because I wanted this baby so badly.
As the evening went on, the pain on my left side became increasingly unbearable. I couldn't sit or walk without discomfort, and eventually, I went to the emergency room. Unfortunately, it was a busy night, and I had to wait for hours to be seen. Despite the excruciating pain I was in, I remained quiet, and the nurses assumed I was fine. I spent the night worried about my baby and also terrified that I might not make it through.
When I was finally seen by a nurse, she took my blood pressure and then asked if I could come back in the morning since the early pregnancy unit had closed for the day. They didn't view my situation as an emergency. In my mind, I thought I might be having a miscarriage, but I also couldn't shake the feeling that something was seriously wrong. I went home, but the next day, I returned with my husband to the early pregnancy unit. It was then that I was informed, "this might be an ectopic pregnancy."
An ectopic pregnancy occurs when a fertilized egg implants outside of the womb, rather than inside. Unfortunately, these pregnancies are never viable and can pose serious health risks if left untreated. Symptoms may not always present themselves, but if they do, they typically occur between the 4th and 12th week of pregnancy. These symptoms can include a combination of a missed period, tummy pain on one side, vaginal bleeding, pain in the shoulder, and discomfort while urinating or having a bowel movement. It's important to note that these symptoms could also indicate something else, such as a stomach bug. A scan is necessary to determine the true cause.
In my case, the fertilized egg had implanted in my left fallopian tube. When I received this devastating news, I couldn't stop crying. However, the diagnosis was not yet confirmed. There was still a chance it could be a standard miscarriage, or (though highly unlikely) everything could be fine. Looking back, that glimmer of hope hurt the most. My blood was tested every other day to see if it was a viable pregnancy, and by Thursday, I was still experiencing the same pain and bleeding.
I went back to the hospital, and once again, I was told they weren't sure what was going on. They asked me to call back on Monday. But I couldn't leave without answers. I knew something was wrong, and I wasn't willing to risk my life by waiting an entire weekend. I demanded another scan. This demand led to the scariest 24 hours of my life.
Internal bleeding can manifest in various ways, depending on the location. Some signs and symptoms may include pain, a swollen abdomen, nausea, pale skin, difficulty breathing, extreme thirst, and even unconsciousness. When I demanded another scan, the doctor finally confirmed that I was having an ectopic pregnancy and needed emergency surgery the next day. I spent that night not only worrying about my unborn baby but also fearing for my own life. It felt like I had a ticking time bomb inside of me.
The following morning, I was taken into surgery, where doctors performed a "technical management of pregnancy," which, in simpler terms, is an abortion and the removal of my left fallopian tube. When I woke up, the surgeon informed me that they had gotten to it just in time. Any later, and I might not have made it. I felt both relieved and angry. I was relieved that I had been heard, but angry that my concerns had not been taken seriously from the start. The surgeon even showed me pictures of the procedure, which I wish she had done when my husband was present, rather than when I was coming out of anesthesia.
I was allowed to go home later that afternoon, but as the reality of what had happened set in, I was consumed by grief. All I could think about was my baby and how he or she was now gone. Even when I was fortunate enough to have a third child, my rainbow baby, two years later in 2021, I couldn't shake the feeling of guilt. I wouldn't have him if my other baby hadn't died. Over time, my grief has become more manageable, but it will never truly go away.
This November marks five years since my ectopic pregnancy, and I am finally able to talk about it openly. I am grateful that I listened to my body and stood up for myself, and I urge others to do the same. Many people believe that you will know if you are having an ectopic pregnancy because of the extreme pain. But as women, we are often used to pushing through pain, which can make it challenging to spot. I was fortunate to catch it just in time, but I don't want any other woman to have such a close call.
If you are experiencing pain or something doesn't feel right, don't dismiss it. Insist on a thorough examination, and if necessary, don't be afraid to say, "I'm not leaving until I have answers." You never know; it could save your life.
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