October 16th 2024.
It's no secret that many women feel uncomfortable sharing their sexual desires with their partners. The fear of being judged can be a powerful deterrent. We all have secret kinks and fantasies we'd love to explore, but often we hold back and keep them to ourselves.
This is a common experience for women, with a staggering 90% of us harboring a hidden sexual desire. Recently, the sex-positive dating app Pure conducted a survey of 3,000 women, asking them about the fantasies they wished they could explore. The results were far from vanilla. In fact, the most popular desire among women was an orgy, with 35% expressing interest in threesomes, foursomes, and group sex.
Sexologist and expert Gigi Engle, who works with sextoys.co.uk, explains the appeal of orgies and why women may want to partake in them. She describes an orgy as a form of group sex where everyone is engaging with each other in the same room. This is different from a gang bang, where one person is receiving and everyone else is giving or penetrating.
Orgies have been around for centuries, with Gigi noting that they've been a part of human sexuality since the beginning of time. She mentions popular orgies from history, such as the Bacchanalia in Greece and the spring harvest celebrations in Ancient Rome and Greece.
If orgies aren't your cup of tea, there are other sexual desires that women are keen to explore. According to the survey, 32% of women are interested in trying rough sex, which can include elements of power and control play and even consensual non-consent. However, it's important to always obtain enthusiastic consent from both partners before engaging in any rough sexual activities.
Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey, a sex therapist and psychologist, emphasizes the importance of communication and setting boundaries when it comes to rough sex. She advises against engaging in this type of play with a stranger and suggests using safe words to ensure a consensual and enjoyable experience.
On a lighter note, 20% of women expressed a desire to try role playing, which can involve dressing up in costumes or pretending to be different people. Sex expert Kate Moyle stresses the importance of communication and setting expectations before trying out any role play scenarios.
Despite having clear desires, many women are hesitant to share them with their partners due to fear of judgment or discomfort. In fact, 52% of women in the survey admitted to being afraid of their partner's judgment, while 46% said they would feel uncomfortable sharing their desires. This fear may stem from negative past experiences or societal pressure to prioritize their partner's pleasure over their own.
It's not all bad news though. The survey also revealed that more than three quarters of women are open to trying something new with their partner. This shows that there is a willingness to explore and experiment, but the hesitation lies in sharing these desires with their partners.
Sex and relationship expert Dr. Tara, who is also an ambassador for Pure Queens, encourages women to talk openly and freely about sex and to educate themselves about their own sexuality and pleasure. She emphasizes the importance of communication and setting boundaries in order to honor one's own self-worth.
So, if you're feeling nervous about sharing your sexual desires with your partner, remember that open communication and mutual respect can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying sex life. And who knows, your partner may have some hidden desires they've been afraid to share as well.
This article was originally published on March 21, 2024. If you have a story to share, please email us. We'd love to hear from you.
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