November 23rd 2023.
I had never felt so nervous before. In January 2022, I was 25 years old and I was boarding the train from Mansfield to Kendal to start my job as a live-in carer for Bill, a 96-year-old living with Alzheimer's. I was scared. I had never been great with new people and this was the first time I had left my family.
When I arrived, I noticed Bill had tried to stand up despite being shaky on his feet. I told him to stay seated and gave him a strong handshake instead. To my surprise, he asked me if I liked snooker and smiled. I was instantly put at ease. I knew I could do this.
The urge to care for someone else had first come to me when I was 14 and my grandad was very ill with cancer. He was my best friend and I desperately wanted to help, but all I could do was nip to the shop. I felt helpless. A year later he passed away and I was heartbroken.
After 10 years of working with my family I decided to revisit the idea of becoming a carer and applied for a job in the local caring community. Everything happened quickly after that. I completed three weeks of training and after day and a half of shadowing shifts I was out on my own.
I worked long hours, but I never minded. As long as the client had a smile on their face when I left, I was happy. That was why in 2021, I decided to apply for a live-in carer job; I wanted to challenge myself.
That's how I met Bill. He had spent the last couple of years caring for his late wife through the pandemic and his dementia had gone undiagnosed for a while. He was a very quiet and collected man and he needed help at home. I could provide that.
We quickly developed a bond. We cooked together and he taught me all about snooker which I never thought I would like. He even tried to get me into boules, but it didn't quite stick. Bill's condition deteriorated in June and he ended up in bed.
I was hopeful he would be with me for a while. I told myself he was going to make it to 100 and we would be living together for a long time. But it wasn't meant to be.
Soon, Bill wasn't eating or drinking so I had to wet his lips with a flannel and he became practically non-verbal. His daughter came back from Spain to be with him at the end and it was heart-wrenching to witness.
At 4:00am one night I was awoken to the news that he had passed away. I went to say my goodbyes and as I kissed his forehead, he took his last breath. I'm sure he gave me a little smile before he did.
The nine months I spent with Bill changed my life forever. Right now I'm living in a pub with my best friend but I'm still working for a caring company. I apply my caring mentality to everything I do, even if it can be hard.
I recently completed an 8.5 km Alzheimer’s Society Memory Walk in his memory and he’s the reason I will never stop trying to make a difference to those living with dementia.
Bill always remembered who I was right until the end, and I’ll never forget him or how he changed my life.
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