November 29th 2024.
It's a common trope in romantic comedies - two strangers meet at a bar, have a few drinks, and end up having forgettable sex. But for half of Generation Z, this scenario is far from reality. In fact, they've never experienced drunk sex and have no intention of changing that. It's a shift that's happening and it could mean the end of boozy one-night stands. The reason? Self-worth and orgasms.
Let's take a closer look at the facts. Recent research from sex brand Lovehoney found that Gen Z is leading the way in rejecting hookup culture, with a majority of them stating that they have never had drunk sex. This may not come as a surprise, as studies show that Gen Z's alcohol consumption has decreased by 25% over the past four years. This trend is also reflected in the rise of the #sobercurious movement and the increasing destigmatization of mental health, body acceptance, and queer visibility.
According to Tawny Lara, author of the book Dry Humping, this trend among Gen Z is not surprising at all. "They grew up in an era where we openly discuss how alcohol affects our bodies and they have access to information that previous generations didn't have," she explains. It's a hot topic on TikTok, where author Sarah Levy shared her own experience with sober sex and how it changed her perspective.
"I realized that the drunken sex I was having was very transactional. It was never about my pleasure," she shares in an interview. "It was about the validation of a man wanting me. And that was what I wanted, to feel good enough, and the rest didn't really matter."
It's not just about pleasure either. Lovehoney's data shows that you're 33% less likely to orgasm during drunk sex compared to when you're sober. For Sarah, it was a wake-up call to address her toxic relationship with alcohol. "By the time I turned 28, it stopped being cute or funny. I felt ashamed and embarrassed," she says.
Kirsty, a 26-year-old writer, also stopped engaging in drunk sex after experiencing it multiple times during her first few years of university. "At first, it felt exciting and fun, and everyone else seemed to be doing it," she recalls. But as her relationship with alcohol became more toxic, she started to feel anxious and even ashamed of her drunken encounters. That's when she decided to swear off drunk sex and focus on having more meaningful and emotionally connected sexual experiences.
And Kirsty is not alone. According to Lovehoney's survey, more and more people are choosing to have sober sex because it allows them to be more present and in tune with their bodies and their partners. Even for those who can enjoy drunk sex, it's not without its negative impacts. Psychosexual therapist Ness Cooper explains that alcohol can lead to delayed responses and lowered inhibitions, making it harder to fully consent to sexual activities. It can also lead to feelings of shame and regret afterwards, influenced by societal attitudes towards slut-shaming.
Alcohol can also affect our bodily functions during sex, making it harder to orgasm and relax the muscles for penetration. For Suzanne Noble, a 63-year-old woman who hasn't had drunk sex in 10 years, the lack of orgasms was one of the reasons she decided to stay away from alcohol in the bedroom. "I far prefer being 100% present and feeling all the tingling throughout my entire body rather than being numbed by alcohol," she says.
But it's not just about pleasure. Suzanne also realized that she was putting herself in potentially dangerous situations when she met people while drunk. "I'd go to a man's flat or house whom I barely knew. Anything could have happened and I feel lucky that it didn't," she says. By staying sober, she can have the presence of mind to set boundaries and say no if the situation becomes uncomfortable or non-consensual.
The trend of choosing sober sex over drunk sex is not limited to Gen Z. Even those over 30, like Suzanne, have seen the benefits of staying sober in the bedroom. It's a reminder that alcohol may be a social lubricant, but it's not necessary for a fulfilling and enjoyable sexual experience.
[This article has been trending online recently and has been generated with AI. Your feed is customized.]
[Generative AI is experimental.]
