September 22nd 2024.
Ever since I turned 18, getting a good night's sleep has been a rare occurrence for me. It's currently 2:53AM and I'm wide awake, while my husband peacefully snores next to me. It feels like a cruel joke, and I can't help but feel envious of his ability to fall asleep so effortlessly. My insomnia has been a persistent issue for the past 30 years, and it seems to only get worse as I try harder to achieve a restful slumber.
It all started during my A-Levels when I couldn't fall asleep the night before my first exam. Despite my exhaustion, I couldn't seem to quiet my mind, and checking the time only made me more anxious. I always attributed my poor sleep to exam nerves, but by 2003, it had become a constant problem in my daily life. I finally sought help from a healthcare professional, who diagnosed me with sleep onset insomnia - the inability to fall asleep even when tired. He prescribed me Zopiclone, a sleeping pill that helps with both falling asleep and staying asleep, as well as anti-anxiety medication to ease my worries about not being able to sleep.
At first, the medication had a positive impact. I felt less anxious and was able to fall asleep quicker and stay asleep for the entire night. However, these medications are only meant for short-term use, and my insomnia was far from temporary. For the next 14 years, I found myself constantly switching between different medications to manage my insomnia.
In 2017, I hit rock bottom. A simple dinner with friends left me lying awake in bed, unable to sleep. There was no apparent trigger, yet I found myself wide awake once again. This marked the beginning of a year-long struggle where I could only manage to get four hours of sleep, if any at all. The lack of sleep started to take a toll on my health - I suffered from headaches, brain fog, and lost my appetite. I was constantly tired and had to give up my gym membership. Desperate to protect the little sleep I could get, I started to isolate myself and stopped making plans with friends. It's no surprise that the invitations stopped coming altogether, although I don't blame anyone for it.
Eventually, my insomnia also started to affect my professional life. As a senior financial analyst, the constant brain fog and headaches made it difficult for me to perform at my best. I made the difficult decision to quit my job in July 2019, much to the shock of those around me who couldn't understand why I would give up everything I had worked so hard for just because I couldn't sleep well. But for me, it was the right decision.
Since then, I have seen some improvement in my sleep and have found solace in spending time with my daughter and volunteering. However, I still struggle with frustration and anger towards a condition that seems to control my life. But I know I'm not alone in this battle. Recent research has shown that nine out of ten adults experience sleep problems, and many suffer from undiagnosed sleep disorders. As an administrator for an Insomnia Support Group on Facebook, I see new members joining every day, sharing their stories of sleepless nights and desperate days. I truly believe that the UK is facing a sleep crisis.
Poor sleep has been linked to an increased mortality rate and is associated with many major health conditions. That's why The Sleep Charity is calling on the government to introduce a national sleep strategy. This includes incorporating sleep education and support into public health campaigns and improving the support and treatments available for patients with sleep disorders. Unfortunately, accessing the right support and treatments is often a challenge, as it can vary depending on where you live and some GPs may not have enough knowledge about sleep disorders.
It's time for these issues to be addressed urgently. Sleep should not be a luxury; it should be a basic need. Improving the support and treatments available for sleep disorders would make a significant difference in the lives and well-being of millions of people like me. Do you have a similar experience? I'd love to hear your story. Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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