June 23rd 2024.
Women have been challenging the societal perception of the word 'lesbian' and reclaiming it as their own. This was evident when contestants on Britain's first-ever dating show for 'girls who like girls' were asked their thoughts on the term. It sparked an interesting conversation about the evolution of language and how it can be used to undermine, offend, and cause harm.
One contestant, Naee, shared that she preferred to simply say "I'm gay" rather than use the word 'lesbian'. Abbie also agreed, saying she would say "I'm into girls" or "I'm queer" instead. However, Georgia, a contestant on the show, proudly reclaimed the term after opening up about her personal struggles with it and its negative connotations.
The stigma surrounding the word is not a new phenomenon. In 2022, a study by the charity Just Like Us found that 68% of young lesbians aged 18 to 24 feared being perceived as 'man-hating', 'over-sexualized', or 'anti-trans' if they were to come out. The over-sexualization of lesbians was also found to be a major barrier for this age group.
The BBC's I Kissed A Girl dating show sparked questions about the term 'lesbian', and it's not hard to see why. Sarah Stella Edwards, an LGBTQ+ consultant at SheSpot, a sexual wellness service for women, explains that the word has been misused and misrepresented over time. She believes that this is partly due to the lack of representation of lesbians in the media, leading to them being stereotyped as "butch" or "manly". However, lesbians are not a monolithic group, and this stereotype does not accurately represent them.
The rise of lesbian porn has also contributed to negative perceptions of lesbians in society. Sarah explains that it often portrays them as hypersexualized objects for the male gaze. This is evident in the results of Pornhub's 2023 Year in Review, where 'lesbian' was the most searched term in the US for the third time in five years.
Due to these conflicting connotations, some lesbians distance themselves from the word 'lesbian' and prefer to self-label as 'gay' or 'queer'. This is also true for businesses, where the word is often penalized in search engines and flagged as spam. Robyn Exton, founder of Her, the largest dating app for women, non-binary, and trans people in the LGBTQ+ community, recalls the challenges they faced when launching the app in 2015. There was so much content related to lesbian porn that it was difficult to show authentic lesbian experiences in search results.
Unfortunately, this is still an issue today, with many cis straight men trying to fulfill their fantasies through lesbian dating apps. This highlights the importance of creating safe spaces for queer women and the need to reclaim the word 'lesbian' from its sexualized connotations.
However, it's essential to remember that the word 'lesbian' has not always been viewed negatively. It has roots in the Greek poet Sappho, who lived on the island of Lesbos and wrote about homoerotic themes. In fact, both 'lesbian' and 'sapphic' stem from her name. Despite most of her work being lost, it's clear that her poems celebrated love between women.
Dr. Hannah Roche, a senior lecturer in twentieth-century literature and culture, notes that Sappho has inspired many queer writers and has become a symbol of lesbian identity. She represents the presence and achievements of queer women throughout history.
Robyn also mentions the recent surge of women identifying as 'sapphic' on her app. She believes this is due to the term feeling more inclusive and allowing space for non-binary and trans individuals. With so many words to describe different identities within the LGBTQ+ community, 'sapphic' serves as an umbrella term that can encompass a range of experiences and attractions.
Despite the negative connotations surrounding the word, many women are reclaiming 'lesbian' as their own. Sabah Ahmad, a social worker from Manchester, primarily identifies as 'gay' or 'queer', but she is now embracing the word 'lesbian'. She came out at the age of 21, and while she had a supportive friendship circle, it took her a while to let go of the internalized shame instilled in her by her strict Pakistani and Muslim upbringing.
In conclusion, the word 'lesbian' has a complex history and has been misused and sexualized in society. However, it is being reclaimed by women, and there is a shift towards more inclusive language. The rise of the term 'sapphic' and the celebration of queer historical figures like Sappho give hope for a more positive future for the word 'lesbian'.
In recent years, there has been a growing movement among women to reclaim the word 'lesbian'. This was evident in the first ever dating show for 'girls who like girls' in Britain, where contestants were asked about their thoughts on the term. This sparked an important conversation about the power of language and how it can be used to hurt and undermine others.
One of the contestants, Naee, shared that she prefers to simply say "I'm gay" instead of using the word 'lesbian'. Abbie, another contestant, also agreed and said that she usually says "I'm into girls" or "I'm queer". However, Georgia, who initially posed the question, proudly reclaimed the word after sharing her own struggles with it and its negative associations.
Unfortunately, the stigma surrounding the word 'lesbian' is not a new phenomenon. A 2022 study by the charity Just Like Us found that 68% of young lesbians aged 18 to 24 feared being perceived as 'man-hating', 'over-sexualized', or 'anti-trans' if they were to come out. The sexualization of lesbians was also found to be a major barrier for this age group.
So what is it about the word 'lesbian' that elicits such negative reactions? Sarah Stella Edwards, an LGBTQ+ consultant at SheSpot, a sexual wellness service for women, explains that the word has been misused and misrepresented over time. She points out that in the past, lesbians were often portrayed as 'butch' or 'manly' in the media, but this is not representative of all lesbians.
Edwards also believes that the rise of lesbian pornography has played a role in perpetuating harmful stereotypes about lesbians. She explains that in these types of pornographic content, lesbians are often depicted as hypersexualized objects for the male gaze. This is further supported by the results of Pornhub's 2023 Year in Review, which showed that 'lesbian' was the most searched term in the US for the third time in the last five years.
Due to these negative connotations, some lesbians choose to distance themselves from the word and instead identify as 'gay' or 'queer'. This is because the word 'lesbian' carries conflicting meanings that do not resonate with everyone. However, it's not just humans who view the term negatively. A simple online search for 'lesbian' often brings up pornographic content, and the word is often flagged as spam or blocked by internet providers.
Robyn Exton, the founder of Her, the largest dating app for women, non-binary, and trans people in the LGBTQ+ community, also notes that the word 'lesbian' is often penalized in search engines. She shares that in the early days of her business, it was challenging to compete with the overwhelming amount of lesbian pornography online. It took time for queer women businesses to reclaim the word and create a space for authentic lesbian experiences.
Despite the progress, Exton says there are still many cis straight men who try to fulfill their fantasies by joining lesbian spaces. This shows a lack of understanding that these spaces are not for them. However, it's important to remember that the word 'lesbian' hasn't always had a negative connotation.
Both the terms 'lesbian' and 'sapphic' originate from Sappho of Lesbos, an Archaic poet from ancient Greece who incorporated homoerotic themes in her work. Although most of her work is now lost, it is clear that she celebrated the love between women. In modern times, Sappho has become an enduring symbol of lesbian identity and has inspired many queer writers.
Recently, there has been a rise in the use of the term 'sapphic' to describe one's sexuality. Robyn attributes this to the popularity of TikTok and the inclusivity of the word. She believes that this umbrella term allows space for different identities within the LGBTQ+ community, such as lesbians, bisexuals, and pansexuals.
Despite the negative associations with the word 'lesbian', there are women who proudly embrace it. Sabah Ahmad, a 30-year-old social worker from Manchester, primarily identifies as 'gay' or 'queer'. Growing up in a strict Pakistani and Muslim household, she found it challenging to come out at the age of 21. However, with the support of her queer friends, she was able to overcome internalized shame and fully embrace her identity as a lesbian.
In conclusion, the word 'lesbian' has a complicated history and carries different meanings for different people. However, it's important to continue having open and honest conversations about language and its impact on marginalized communities. By reclaiming and redefining words like 'lesbian', we can create a more inclusive and accepting society for all.
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