September 28th 2024.
I never thought I would be back in the dating world at the age of 34. But after my divorce in 2023, I found myself re-entering the wild world of dating. My ex-husband's true colors had been revealed and our marriage came crashing down. It was a mix of sadness and relief, but with the support of my friends and family, I was able to move on.
In the autumn, I decided to challenge myself and go on 30 dates in 30 nights. It was a way to force myself back out there and meet new people. I wanted to do it during a time when work was not too busy and my social life was calm before the holiday season. The dates did not have to be consecutive, but rather between the end of September and early November. I was open to going on first, second, or even third dates depending on how each one went.
When I shared my plan with my friends, they had mixed reactions. Some were thrilled for me, while others were worried about me getting hurt again. But I was determined to see it through. I downloaded the dating app Hinge and quickly realized that dating in my mid-thirties was very different from my twenties. I didn't encounter any time-wasters or dead-end conversations like I did in my younger years. Perhaps it had something to do with the age range I set this time around.
One Tuesday evening, I met Jez, a charming 39-year-old with smoldering hazel eyes, outside London Bridge station. We hit it off right away and headed to a pub where we got cozy under the outdoor heaters. Jez had a unique way of getting to know someone through "would you rather" questions. It was a fun and engaging conversation that helped us get to know each other better. I also opened up about my divorce and he was understanding and supportive.
But the next morning, I woke up to a hangover and a text from Jez asking how many dates I had lined up for the week. I told him I had three and he seemed surprised. Later on, he texted me saying he had slept with someone else. It was a bit unexpected, but I wasn't upset. However, Jez's attitude towards me completely changed. He said that my "rapid succession of dates" was intimidating and that we should just be friends. It was a bit confusing, but I brushed it off and continued with my 30-date challenge.
Dating as a thirty-something divorcee turned out to be a surprisingly positive experience for me. I got to meet all kinds of men from different backgrounds and cultures. It was refreshing that my dates were not intimidated by my past marriage. Of course, there were some bumps along the way, but I didn't let them bring me down. And by the time I went on my 30th date in November, I had gained a newfound confidence.
Looking back, I'm glad I took on this challenge. It helped me get back out there and find my footing in the dating world again. And who knows, maybe one of those 30 dates will turn into something more. But for now, I'm just enjoying the journey and the new experiences.
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