November 20th 2024.
I used to think that my struggle with reality TV was just a personal issue, but as I delved deeper, I realized it was something more profound. The thought of starting a reality TV show was daunting, especially when it was going to air on Bravo - a channel known for its trashy content. To make matters worse, this particular show, Vanderpump Rules, had a staggering 11 seasons. So, you can imagine my hesitation in getting into it.
But, despite my reservations, I decided to take on the challenge of watching Vanderpump Rules. For the past few months, I've been immersed in the drama, romance, and chaos of Lisa Vanderpump's restaurant staff at Sur in Los Angeles. It's been quite the journey, and I can confidently say that I've spent about 14 days binge-watching this show for an average of 16 hours per day. That's a lot of time that I could have used for something more productive - like writing a book. In fact, Ian Fleming managed to write each of his James Bond books in less than two weeks, but here I am, wasting away in front of the TV.
But, I couldn't help myself. Every time I reached the end of an episode, I would eagerly say, "Just one more, please!" even if it meant staying up until midnight and sacrificing my precious sleep. The next day, I would regret my decision as I struggled to face the world with my sluggish and exhausted self. This wasn't a new problem for me. The curse of "One More Episode" had haunted me for years, and it used to be even worse.
I remember one summer during my university days when I stayed up until 4am every night watching Game of Thrones re-runs, only going to bed when the birds started chirping. And, I must confess, I've also watched episodes of my favorite shows without my boyfriend, breaking the sacred TV show-watching trust. During the lockdown, I even binged an entire season of The Last Kingdom without him, staying up until 3am. Let's just say he wasn't too happy about it. Oops, but also, am I okay?
For some reason, I became attached to this show - it was so bad, yet so good. But, when does watching too much reality TV become an addiction? I started to question myself, and I even reached out to a few professionals to seek their opinions on the matter. Dr. Catherine Carney, a psychiatrist at Delamere, made me realize that I might have a problem. She explained, "If you're doing something, and despite the negative consequences, you continue to do it, that's when it becomes an addiction." And, if I'm being honest, I've definitely fallen into that trap.
However, medically speaking, TV addiction is not recognized as a behavioral addiction, making it difficult to define and understand. According to Dr. Carney, there isn't much research on behavioral addictions related to TV and social media. But, the current belief is that the reward system in our brains, driven by dopamine, responds to the suspense and drama of TV shows in a similar way to how it reacts to substances. In other words, TV shows provide a sense of stress relief, distraction, and escapism.
But, my obsession with reality TV goes deeper than that. It has prevented me from going outside and exploring the world, as I get sucked into this alternate reality that is miles away from tomorrow. After speaking to a few professionals, I realized that my inability to switch off at night and my excessive binge-watching is not just a personality quirk or a form of self-love - it's a reflection of my struggles with anxiety and connection.
Counselor Georgina Sturmer believes that my constant need for hours of reality TV stems from unmet personal needs. She explained, "TV addiction can arise from feelings of loneliness, anxiety, depression, isolation, or boredom - and let's face it, TV is an easy solution for all of these things." Addiction specialist Liz Sharpe took it a step further and suggested that we all crave stories because it connects us with others. So, if there's a void in that aspect of our lives, is it because we lack real connections with people?
As I reflect on my own life, I realize that I've always been a "people person." I find people fascinating, and I thrive on thinking, talking, and observing them. But, during my mental health crash last year, I lost this ability to connect with people. It became evident during intimate or one-on-one situations with my friends, where I struggled to find my natural voice and humor. I felt robotic, flat, and boring, unable to think of anything to say, let alone deliver it with my usual charm and wit.
In conclusion, my obsession with reality TV runs deeper than just a simple addiction. It has become a tempting distraction from my own struggles with anxiety and connection. But, with this newfound awareness, I am determined to make a change and find healthier ways to cope. As they say, recognizing the problem is the first step towards finding a solution.
I used to think that my aversion to reality TV was just a personal preference. But recently, I've come to realize that it may be a deeper issue. The mere thought of starting a reality TV show is enough to send shivers down my spine. And when I found out that the show I was going to be a part of was on Bravo, known for its trashy content, and was 11 seasons long, I was terrified. The show was called Vanderpump Rules and it followed the drama-filled lives of Lisa Vanderpump's staff at her restaurant in Los Angeles, Sur. I knew it was going to be quite the undertaking to watch and keep up with the shagging, cheating, cursing, and shouting that was sure to ensue.
As I delved into the world of Vanderpump Rules, I realized that I had spent around 14 days' worth of binge-watching, which is equivalent to 16-hour days. In that amount of time, I could have written a whole book. It's crazy to think that Ian Fleming wrote each of the James Bond books in less than two weeks, yet here I was, spending my time consuming this show. I couldn't help but feel like I was wasting my time and festering in this strange Californian world that was miles away from reality. It left me feeling sluggish, tired, and disconnected from the real world.
But this wasn't a new problem for me. The "One More Episode" curse had haunted me for years, and it used to be even worse. I remember one summer during university when I stayed up until 4am every night watching Game of Thrones reruns. I would only go to bed when I could hear the birds chirping outside. I even resorted to secretly watching episodes of shows without my boyfriend, breaking the sacred trust we had when watching a TV show together. I'll admit, during the lockdown, I binged an entire season of The Last Kingdom after we had watched one episode together on FaceTime. Needless to say, he was not impressed.
As I reflected on my TV addiction, I couldn't help but wonder if it was a real problem. I decided to ask some professionals for their opinions. Dr. Catherine Carney, a psychiatrist at Delamere, made me realize that my behavior was not normal. She said, "If you're doing something, and despite the negative consequences, you keep doing it, that's when you have a problem. That's when it becomes an addiction." And I couldn't deny it, I was guilty of doing just that.
However, medically speaking, TV addiction is not recognized as a behavioral addiction, making it difficult to define. According to Dr. Carney, there isn't much research on behavioral addictions related to TV and social media. But the current belief is that the reward systems in our brains, driven by dopamine, react to cliffhangers in TV shows in the same way that substances do. It provides a temporary escape and stress relief, making it easy to get hooked on a show.
My addiction to reality TV had not only consumed my time, but it had also stopped me from going outside and exploring the real world. I had become so engrossed in these shows that I had lost touch with reality. After speaking with three professionals, it became clear that my inability to switch off and my obsession with these shows was not just a personality quirk or a form of self-love, but it was deeply connected to my anxiety and need for connection.
Georgina Sturmer, a counselor, suggested that my constant need for hours of reality TV was a result of my unmet needs. She said, "TV addiction may stem from feelings of loneliness, anxiety, depression, isolation, or boredom. And in many ways, TV fulfills all of those needs." Addiction specialist Liz Sharpe took it a step further and suggested that our need for stories and connections with other people may be the reason behind our addiction to TV. She said, "We all need stories because it's what connects us as people. And if there's a hole in that part of your life, is it because you need a connection to other people?"
As I thought about it, I realized that there was some truth to their statements. I've always been a "people person" and have always found people to be the most interesting part of life. But when I had a mental health crash last year, my ability to connect with others diminished. I would struggle to hold a conversation with close friends and my jokes and personality seemed to disappear. It was as if I had lost touch with myself.
In conclusion, my addiction to reality TV was not just a harmless hobby but a reflection of deeper issues within myself. It was a way for me to escape from my anxiety and lack of connection in the real world. It's a reminder that we should be mindful of the amount of time we spend consuming media and make an effort to connect with others and explore the world around us.
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