I've come to understand that being submissive in the bedroom doesn't make me any less of a feminist.

In the bedroom, I must admit, I am not the one to take charge. My lover and I are standing face to face, just a few inches away from the bed. He's fresh out of the shower, and I can't help but notice the droplets of water sliding down his stomach and landing on the towel wrapped around his waist. Even though I am fully dressed and he is almost naked, there is no denying that he holds all the power in this moment. He looks deep into my eyes and without breaking contact, he tells me to undress. My body is longing for him, as we have been teasing each other for hours, waiting impatiently for our friends to leave so that we can finally make love. The air is thick with anticipation as I obediently strip down for him. He stays perfectly still, devouring my every move as each layer of clothing falls to the ground. It's not until I am standing completely naked before him that he finally makes his move. He lifts me up with ease and lays me down on the bed, making me feel weightless.

Have you signed up for The Hook-Up, Metro's sex and dating newsletter? It's the perfect way to get all the latest juicy stories and tips for spicing things up in the bedroom. We can't wait for you to join us! Our love-making lasts for hours, with my lover giving me commands along the way. He tells me how to move and bend, when to pleasure myself, and where to touch him. I am completely at his mercy and I absolutely love it.

It took me some time to come to terms with my love for being submissive in the bedroom. I used to worry about what it said about me and if I was letting down my fellow women. But now I realize that it's all nonsense. I take pleasure in following my partner's lead. Outside of the bedroom, I am quite the opposite. I manage a large team and work in a high-pressure environment with tight deadlines. It's not easy for me to switch off and let someone else take control. I am a fiercely independent woman who takes care of herself. But when it comes to sex, I crave nothing more than to surrender myself to my lover's desires.

Power play can take many forms, and I've explored quite a few of them. One of my most delicious memories involves my partner tying my hands to the bedpost and ravishing me. Another time, my ex and I tried "edging," where we would bring each other to the brink of orgasm and then stop, making the release even more intense. I had to ask for his permission to climax, which was both torturous and incredibly arousing.

In my mid-twenties, I didn't give much thought to the dynamics of power in the bedroom. I was still discovering what I enjoyed, and I often found myself dating older, more experienced men who naturally took the lead. But as I grew older and learned more about equality and women's rights, I started to question my choices in sexual partners and the type of sex we were having. It made me uncomfortable to think that I, a strong and independent woman, would willingly give up control in the bedroom.

I even discussed this with a therapist, hoping for an objective opinion. What I came to realize, with the help of my therapist, is that my sexual preferences do not define who I am as a woman. To use a simple analogy, my lover may be the conductor, but I decide whether or not I want to board the train. And, as it turns out, sometimes I just enjoy being along for the ride.

It makes perfect sense to me now why I enjoy taking a step back in the bedroom after having to be in control all day. It's liberating, like finally being able to exhale after holding my breath for too long. Have you ever explored your submissive side in bed? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Share them in the comments below.

I've come to realize that I am not the only one who struggles with the idea of being two different people in and out of the bedroom. Many of us feel ashamed or guilty for our sexual preferences. In fact, a recent study found that almost half of women and over a third of men experience sexual shame at some point in their lives. One of my friends confided in me that she sometimes feels like a "bad feminist" because she champions women's rights in her daily life but enjoys being called a "dirty slut" in bed by her partner. I listened to her, and I shared an important message: willingly being submissive is a choice, and a powerful one at that. It takes a lot of trust and vulnerability to let go and allow someone else to take control. If anything, it's something to be proud of.

So, if you enjoy being spanked, tied up, or giving up control to your lover, know that it doesn't make you any less of a feminist. And I've come to realize that it doesn't define who I am as a woman either. Do you have a story to share? I'd love to hear it! Share your thoughts by emailing me. And don't forget to sign up for The Hook-Up newsletter for all the latest in sex and dating from Metro.

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