February 20th 2024.
Holly has been a lawyer specializing in divorce and prenuptial agreements for many years. She has helped over 2,000 couples separate and has gained a wealth of experience and knowledge on the subject. One of the biggest misconceptions about divorce is the belief that things are split evenly between the two partners. However, according to Holly, this is far from the truth. She explains that every divorce ultimately boils down to one thing: one or both partners are not having their core human needs met.
Holly goes on to elaborate on these core human needs, saying that we all have four specific ones. These include feeling special, experiencing variety in our emotions and daily lives, having stability in our basic needs, and feeling loved and cared for. She believes that in all the divorces she has dealt with, one or both partners were lacking one or more of these needs. This can manifest in various ways, such as infidelity, addiction, or abuse, but these are just symptoms of a deeper underlying issue.
Another common mistake in relationships is marrying the wrong person. While this may seem obvious, Holly has seen countless instances where couples realize that their problems stem from things they already knew about their partner before getting married. Differences in worldviews, opinions on raising children, and work ethics are just some examples of issues that can cause marital discord.
With her extensive experience, Holly has encountered some interesting cases, to say the least. One particularly memorable one involved a couple fighting over horse sperm as a valuable asset in their prenup. She also recalls a case where a wife was concerned about the batteries in the TV remote and wall clock, showing just how bizarre some disputes can get.
Holly believes that every relationship will face challenges at some point, and it's important to address them before they become unfixable. This is where couples therapy can be beneficial. However, she also points out some red flags that may indicate a doomed relationship. One of these is when a partner says, "this is just who I am," showing a lack of willingness to change or compromise. The biggest red flag, according to Holly, is when one or both partners stop caring about the relationship entirely, making it nearly impossible to salvage.
Holly charges a hefty hourly rate for her services and has worked with a diverse range of clients, from average individuals to high-profile figures. She emphasizes the importance of prenuptial agreements, even if they are not legally binding in the UK. They serve as a way to have important conversations before marriage, which can prevent issues from arising later on. Holly also stresses the importance of not giving up on a relationship too easily and putting more effort into maintaining a strong and healthy marriage.
Despite her expertise in divorce and separations, Holly has been happily married to her husband Jeff for 20 years. She believes that many people put too much emphasis on the wedding and not enough on the marriage itself. She encourages couples to have tough conversations and work through their issues, as nothing good comes easy.
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