November 8th 2024.
I was feeling upset and frustrated about our sex life not being as spontaneous as it used to be, and I knew I needed to talk to my partner, Almara, about it. In the midst of a passionate moment, I gathered the courage to blurt out my thoughts – maybe we should stop having sex on Fridays.
We've been together for over a year, and Almara had just returned home from a work trip. I knew he was in the mood, as he usually has a high sex drive, but today I found his advances irritating. Don't get me wrong, he's amazing in bed and always attentive to my needs. I feel lucky to have him, but lately, our Friday routine has become mundane.
Almara recently took on a new job that requires him to travel during the week and be home on weekends. This has put a strain on our sex life, and even though we try to keep things exciting through sexy photos and phone sex, I found myself feeling resentful instead of longing for him.
I want to make it clear that my partner is not to blame for our lack of spontaneity in the bedroom. I love him and appreciate his efforts, but the routine we unintentionally created was not doing any favors for my libido. In that initial conversation, I could see the confusion on his face, but I tried to explain as kindly as possible that our current situation, combined with my busy schedule, was affecting my sex drive.
I am a spontaneous person when it comes to sex, and my body takes the lead. I need to feel in control of my own desires, and a rigid schedule was not working for me. So I suggested that for the next few weeks, I would initiate sex while Almara took a backseat. I felt guilty at first, but I reminded myself that I have the right to speak up and express my needs to my partner.
Thankfully, Almara's response put me at ease. He was completely understanding and even jokingly said that it may make the experience even better for him because he'll know I want him, not out of obligation. In that moment, all the pressure and frustration I had been feeling disappeared. We talked it out, and we found a solution that works for both of us.
I know from past experiences that bringing up issues in the bedroom can be tricky, and it's easy to feel like we're placing blame on our partners. But it's crucial to communicate and express our feelings in a non-confrontational way. In fact, for me, communication is the most important aspect of a healthy sex life. My exes who tried to "fix" things by putting pressure on me or accusing me of cheating only made things worse.
I've also realized that many of my friends have similar concerns about their sex life, but they're afraid to speak up out of fear of offending their partners. But the key is to remember that it's not about placing blame, but rather finding a solution together. Communication is key, even in the bedroom.
I'm happy to report that our conversation last month has had a positive impact on our sex life. And we're excited for Almara's new job, which will give us more time together. But for now, I'm enjoying taking charge and feeling more in control. And let me tell you, it's been a turn on for me.
We even had sex last Friday, but this time it was because we both wanted to, not because it was the designated day for it. I'm glad we talked things out because it has made our intimate moments even more enjoyable. So don't be afraid to speak up and share your feelings with your partner. Your desires are valid, and communication can only make your sex life better.
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