July 6th 2024.
I've always had this nagging insecurity about my stomach. It's been with me for as long as I can remember. Even as I make my way to the tattoo parlor to get a design on my tummy, I can't help but feel a sense of dread. The thought of having to expose my stomach when I get there makes me slow down my pace.
My tummy hang-up has been a constant struggle for me. It all started back when I was just four years old, attending ballet classes. My teacher would always say things like, "suck in your tummy" and "maintain a nice straight line." These words stuck with me, and even now, at twenty years old, I catch myself holding my breath to get rid of that little bulge. It's become such a natural movement for me that I don't even realize I'm doing it.
But despite this insecurity, I am a big believer in body positivity. I take care of myself by eating healthily, going for walks, and attending yoga and pilates classes. Not because I want to look a certain way, but because I want to feel strong, be in tune with my body, and take care of my mental health. It's all about self-care and appreciating my health.
However, no matter how much I try to rationalize it, I just can't get over my tummy hang-up. It's been years since I've worn jeans or trousers because of my little pot belly. I know it's just where I carry my weight, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept.
To hide it, I've always relied on high-waisted clothes and loose silhouettes. They fit my boho, free-spirited style, but as summer approaches, I can't help but feel limited in my wardrobe choices. My closet is devoid of bodycon dresses, A-line dresses, and bikinis are out of the question.
This year, I decided enough was enough. So, one night, I impulsively booked an appointment to get a tattoo on my stomach. I'm no stranger to tattoos, with an array of designs covering my arms, legs, fingers, chest, and neck. I love how they look, and if I was already body positive, getting tattoos has only strengthened my self-love.
I settled on a dragonfly design, not just because they're cute, but also because they symbolize self-realization and change in perspective in many cultures. And that's exactly what I was hoping for – a change in perspective.
As I arrived at the tattoo studio, I was nervous. I was about to reveal my tummy to another person for the first time in years. But my artist's sweet and friendly demeanor helped ease my nerves as I nervously stripped down in front of her.
As she placed the stencil on my stomach, I couldn't help but search for judgment in her eyes. But to my relief, there was none. When she asked if the placement was okay, I didn't even look before blurting out a yes.
Finally, when the tattoo was finished, I felt a sense of relief wash over me. Not just because the pain was over, but also because I could safely cover my tummy with my skirt again. But then, I stood up to look at the finished product, and I couldn't believe my eyes.
My tummy was beautiful. The dragonfly design perfectly accentuated the round curve of my belly, giving the illusion of movement. Its wings spread out across my body, as if in flight, and its tiny legs seemed to reach for my belly-button. I couldn't hold back my tears.
Even though I still feel emotional when I look at my stomach, I've been looking at it more and more. I've made it a part of my daily routine to clean and moisturize my tattoo with love. And to my surprise, I even showed off my belly to my friends in pub gardens, without worrying about who might see.
My belly even made its debut on social media, with the tattoo artist proudly showcasing her work, bulging belly and all. And when I saw it, I didn't freak out. In fact, I reposted it for everyone to see.
And to top it all off, I recently ordered my first bikini. This summer, my stomach will finally catch some sun, and I couldn't be more excited. It's been a long journey, but getting this tattoo has helped me appreciate and love my tummy in a way I never thought possible. Do you have a story to share? I'd love to hear it. Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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