December 21st 2024.
It was a few months ago when my seven-year-old daughter, Ada, discovered the truth about Santa Claus. As she stared at me with her mouth agape, I could see the shock and disbelief in her eyes. She reminded me that I had emailed Santa last year and received money to buy presents. Was that all a lie? I couldn't avoid the conversation any longer and had to tell her the truth.
I had always assumed that Ada had already figured out the truth about Santa, especially after an incident with the Tooth Fairy. But I was wrong. As a parent, I had to make a difficult decision and confess to my daughter that her parents were the ones behind the gifts from Santa.
The revelation led to an evening of confessions, with my kids asking me all sorts of questions about my childhood Christmases. I shared with them how my single mother, who had immigrated from the former Soviet Union to New York City, used to shower me with presents. She never believed in giving credit to some random old man in a red suit and would often sign her cards with a message like, "I hope you enjoy these handpicked Christmas gifts I bought you with my blood, sweat, and tears."
Growing up, my mother's honesty about Santa was sometimes overbearing, but it never bothered me. Most of my friends celebrated Hanukkah instead of Christmas, so it wasn't a big deal. Sadly, my mother passed away before I could tell her how much I admired her for always wanting credit for everything she did for me.
As a parent, I understand now why my mother refused to buy into the Santa myth. It's too easy for parents, especially moms, to erase themselves from the picture and let someone else take the credit. When my eldest children were small, I tried to keep the Santa tradition alive, but it never felt natural to me. I love playing make-believe games with my kids, but pretending to be Santa felt like a fraud.
My youngest kids, who were five and three years old, still believed in Santa, but the pandemic bought me some time to keep the tradition going. However, when Christmas came around, I would often forget which gifts were from Santa and which ones I had admitted to buying. So, I started dropping hints until my third child figured out the truth.
Telling Ada the truth about Santa brought a sense of relief. I hated not being completely honest with my kids, and now I wouldn't have to lie again. I believe in nurturing open communication with my children, whether it's talking about Santa or my embarrassing dating experiences.
I understand that not every parent would choose to tell their kids the truth about Santa, and that's okay. My younger kids keep quiet at school to not spoil the fun for other children. But I have learned that as a parent, I need to do what works best for my family, even if it may seem odd to others.
I want my kids to know that there's no right or wrong way to celebrate Christmas. As we spent the past few Christmases in the US, I wanted my children to understand that this holiday is a significant part of our present each year, and that means fewer gifts under the tree. Besides, traveling with four kids is challenging enough, and I didn't want to add the stress of hiding secret presents from a magical being to my list.
Ditching the Santa myth has been beneficial for my family. We still have plenty of magic in our home, and we love watching shows about witches and vampires on Netflix. Not pretending about Santa has also made my kids more appreciative of the little things I do for them. My 14-year-old even made a hamper for a family in need, which made me proud and showed me that my kids are maturing and understanding the true meaning of Christmas.
Being honest with my kids about Santa has also lightened my mental load. I strongly believe that the pressure placed on parents during the festive season is more damaging than telling kids the truth about Santa. Unless parents start rebelling in some way, things will only get more pressurized and out of control. I don't want parents to feel like they've failed if they can't afford an expensive gift or if they can't make all their children's wishes come true.
In real life, achieving our dreams takes determination, hard work, and overcoming challenges. That's a message I want to instill in my children. Writing a list and going to bed on Christmas Eve won't magically make all our dreams come true. Do you have a similar experience? Share your story with me. I'd love to hear from you.
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