November 21st 2024.
Men's reactions to receiving their own inappropriate messages on dating apps can be quite interesting and revealing. It's not surprising that many women are used to receiving unsolicited sexual comments and advances from men on dating apps. However, when the roles are reversed and these men are on the receiving end of their own offensive messages, their reactions may be different than what one might expect.
Some men may become defensive or try to justify their behavior, as seen in the conversation between Alice and Chad. He initially tries to brush off his comment about being a "demon in the sheets" by insisting that he was just trying to be playful. When confronted with a similar type of comment directed at him, he becomes agitated and tries to rationalize his behavior by claiming that men cannot be promiscuous.
This reaction highlights a common double standard in society, where men are often praised for their sexual experiences while women are shamed for the same behavior. It also shows a lack of understanding and empathy towards women's experiences, as Chad insists that only women can be promiscuous and that men value a woman's sexual history.
On the other hand, some men may become more apologetic or remorseful when receiving their own offensive messages. This is seen in Spencer's reaction when he is told that he shouldn't pose with his shirt off. He quickly apologizes and tries to explain his actions, showing a sense of self-awareness and reflection.
Overall, this experiment sheds light on the pervasive issue of online harassment and how it affects both men and women. It also highlights the need for more education and understanding about consent and respectful communication, as well as the importance of holding people accountable for their actions. In the end, no one should have to tolerate inappropriate or offensive behavior, regardless of their gender.
As I logged back onto Tinder after a two-year break, I was immediately bombarded with crude and offensive messages from straight men. Messages like 'Would love to eat your peach', 'Mm I can tell you would be a demon in the sheets', and 'How would you describe your libido?'. Honestly, I wasn't surprised at all. It's unfortunately not uncommon for women to receive unwanted innuendos and misogynistic remarks on dating apps.
There are a few options when faced with such messages - you can reply, ignore, block the sender, or report them to the app. But Metro had a new idea - why not turn the tables and send these men the same kind of messages that women receive on a daily basis? Of course, we had some rules in place - no degrading or offensive messages, nothing of a sexual nature, and only replying to men who had sent questionable messages or had derogatory comments about women in their bios.
So, I spent two nights exchanging messages with men on the app using this new approach. And let me tell you, it was quite an experience.
My first encounter was with a man named Chad, who had sent me the 'demon in the sheets' opener. So, I replied with a one-liner that a friend of mine had received a few months back. I then followed it up with a shameless plug for our sex and dating newsletter, The Hook-Up. Chad's response made me feel uncomfortable - he insisted that men can't be promiscuous and only women can be. I politely corrected him and suggested he Google the meaning of promiscuous. But he still didn't get the message and continued to argue with me. When I asked him why he was getting so emotional, he accused me of being a typical feminist and refused to acknowledge the validity of my points. It was disheartening to see that no amount of reasoning could educate him.
Next, I chatted with a man named Spencer, whose profile picture was the stereotypical topless mirror selfie. He opened with a suggestive comment, to which I replied with a message I had received about a bikini picture on my profile. I told him that while he looked nice, he shouldn't pose with his top off. It's amazing how men on dating apps can communicate in such a disrespectful and objectifying manner.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Sarah Bishop, who specializes in relationships, is no stranger to the pitfalls of online dating. She understands how it affects both men and women and why some men feel the need to behave this way on dating apps. It's a sad reality, but hopefully, by flipping the script and showing these men what it's like to receive such messages, we can bring about a change in their behavior.
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[Generative AI is experimental.]
