November 23rd 2024.
Have you ever heard the saying "staying together for the kids"? It's often used when couples are contemplating divorce, but are hesitant because they don't want to hurt their children. This week, we have a reader who is facing this exact dilemma. She has fallen out of love with her husband and has found herself drawn to another parent she met on the school run. Although she wants to be with this new man, she's afraid of the impact it will have on her children. Before we dive into her situation, don't forget to check out last week's column where we heard from a woman who found comfort in her friend's husband after being widowed at a young age.
The problem at hand is this: our reader has been having a fling with one of the dads from her child's school. She feels guilty about it, but can't seem to stop. She's married with three children and never thought she would be the type to have an affair. She always listened to her friends' wild sexual adventures with shock and disbelief, thinking she could never do something like that. But then, it happened to her. She met this man at the school gates and there was an instant connection. They started talking and soon enough, they were meeting up a few times a week for drinks and wild sex. This new man makes her feel alive and fulfilled in a way she hasn't felt in a long time. She's like a teenager again with butterflies in her stomach every time she sees him. He claims to feel the same way.
But here's the catch - he wants her to leave her husband. How can she possibly do that and walk out on her three young children? Her husband is a kind man and a wonderful father, but she just doesn't love him anymore. She's torn between her feelings for this new man and her responsibilities as a wife and mother.
So what should she do? Is it worth risking her marriage and hurting her children for this new man? The advice is to take a step back and really think about the situation. Sure, it's easy to love someone when you only see them for a few hours each week. But would the relationship be as exciting and fulfilling if they were together all the time? It's important to consider the potential consequences of leaving her family for this new man. Would she truly be happier or would she find herself feeling guilty and missing what she had? It's a big decision to make.
Instead of rushing into anything, it's suggested that she stop seeing this man and have a conversation with her husband about the state of their relationship. They could also consider couples' counselling to see if they can work through their issues. Divorce can be hard on children, so it's important to exhaust all options before making a drastic decision.
It's also important to remember that she's only known this new man for a short time. If he truly is the love of her life, he will understand and wait for her. But she needs to think about all the factors involved before making any decisions. There's a lot at stake here and it's important to consider everything carefully.
In the end, the decision is hers to make. She can seek advice and guidance from a counsellor like Laura, who specializes in this type of situation. But ultimately, she must do what is best for her and her family. If she needs more help, she can always reach out to Laura for expert advice.
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