August 14th 2023.
This week on How I Parent, we're speaking to Lucy Baker, a woman from Lincolnshire on a mission to reclaim the term "geriatric mother". At the age of 42, she and her husband Dan were delighted to be expecting their third child, yet when they shared the news, they weren’t always met with enthusiasm.
Lucy noticed that the midwife wrote down “older mum” in her notes, and doctors and medical professionals began referring to her as being of “advanced maternal age”. She then went online and saw the term “geriatric” everywhere. People, including friends, began to ask if it was an accident or if she had needed to use IVF, as if it was a negative that she was pregnant or that she was being selfish.
School mums would say, “I thought you’d given up nappies?” and “Haven’t you just got your life back?” One particularly bad comment came from a travel consultant who asked if it was a mistake. In response, Lucy said, “Why on earth are you asking?”
The conception rate for the over-40 age group has now more than doubled since 1990 and has been steadily increasing year upon year. But, despite this, Lucy found that all she could see was “Risk! Risk! Risk!” and she felt like there was nothing positive.
So, at four months pregnant, she decided to start a blog, Geriatric Mum Blog, an online community to help other mums who may have been experiencing similar reactions. She created a community of older mums who support each other and she met many other mums online going through the same thing.
Despite the success of the blog, Lucy says that others couldn’t stop doing calculations on her. They would say, “Do you know old you’ll be when the baby goes to university?” which was being highlighted while she was still pregnant.
Lucy has adopted her own approach when it comes to parenting and believes that communication is key. She parents her three children Nancy 13, Ivy 10, and Rocky 4 according to their needs and talks to them on their level. Ultimately, Lucy believes that creating this blog and connecting with mums all over the UK has been really beneficial.
Lucy believes that being an older mum is an individual choice and shouldn’t be judged. She is proud of herself and her family and hopes that she has shown other parents that 40 plus isn’t old and it certainly isn’t geriatric. As she puts it, “I am truly loving being an older mum and feel more confident in myself than ever before.”
If you have a story to share, get in touch by emailing email.
[This article has been trending online recently and has been generated with AI. Your feed is customized.]
