February 29th 2024.
Being a working mother is already a tough balancing act, but adding pregnancy into the mix can make things even more challenging. As I stood in the bathroom of the kids' soft play area, wiping my face after a bout of morning sickness, a kind stranger asked if I was okay. I explained that I was pregnant, not wanting her to think that I had brought a bug into a space full of children.
She then asked how far along I was, and when I replied that I was just over 12 weeks, she reassured me by saying that the second trimester glow would be coming soon. I gave her a weak smile, knowing from past experience that the magical 13-week mark separating the first and second trimesters doesn't always mean an end to the nausea and exhaustion.
In fact, during my last pregnancy, my sickness actually worsened around week 13 and didn't subside until about 16 weeks. And even then, I was left with other pregnancy-related discomforts like heartburn and headaches.
There are so many myths and misconceptions surrounding pregnancy that you only really understand when you go through it yourself. One of the biggest misconceptions is that morning sickness only happens in the morning or in the first few months of pregnancy. This is part of a larger belief that all unpleasant pregnancy symptoms magically disappear once you reach a certain point in your term.
People, especially those who have had children, will often talk about the "second trimester glow," based on the idea that things get easier for the mother during this time. It's a comforting thought for those struggling with morning sickness, giving them hope that things will improve soon. And for many women, it does get better. But for me and many others, it's not the case.
In fact, up to 94% of pregnancies are affected by some form of nausea, vomiting, or both. And while the Royal College of Obstetrics and Gynaecology estimates that it subsides for most women by 20 weeks, that still leaves a significant number of women who continue to experience it.
And let's not forget about other unpleasant side effects of pregnancy, like indigestion and migraines. Yet, we continue to perpetuate the idea that pregnant women will feel immediately better after 12 weeks, putting pressure on those who don't fit into this narrative. This can make them feel like their experience is wrong or even abnormal.
If I hadn't known from my own mother's experience that morning sickness can last longer, I may have worried that something was wrong with my pregnancy when I didn't feel better after 12 weeks. And even during my current pregnancy, when I experienced a severe resurgence of sickness around week 17 and ended up in the hospital due to dehydration, I couldn't help but worry.
Despite people telling me that morning sickness is a good sign, it's hard not to worry when you can't keep any food or liquid down. The pressure to "glow" during pregnancy is just another example of society's obsession with women's physical appearance. Instead, we should focus on praising women for their strength and resilience during one of the most challenging times of their lives.
While it's important to offer hope and reassurance to those struggling with morning sickness, we also need to be realistic about what pregnant women may experience. In my case, I would have appreciated honesty instead of being disappointed and disillusioned when I didn't feel better after 12 weeks.
The truth is that women are incredibly strong and resilient, and we can handle the facts without needing to be protected. By being more open and transparent about our experiences, we can prevent others from feeling the pressure to meet yet another unrealistic standard placed on women.
If you're dealing with persistent morning sickness, please reach out to Pregnancy Sickness Support for help and support. And if you have a story to share, we'd love to hear from you. Let's continue the conversation and support each other through this challenging but amazing journey of pregnancy.
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