December 20th 2024.
I am a woman who enjoys pleasing my sexual partner. So, when my lover texted me late at night saying he would be coming over after his night shift, I couldn't resist the excitement. As I rummaged through my closet, searching for the only G-string I owned, I couldn't help but feel a little annoyed. It was past midnight and I should have been in bed, but instead, I was busy trying to find this dreaded piece of lingerie that my lover had specifically requested for our rendezvous. You see, while there are women out there who enjoy wearing thongs, I am definitely not one of them. I have disliked them ever since I first tried one as a teenager. But, as a woman who likes to please her partner, I found myself squeezing into a lacy thong, feeling as though I was flossing my own bum cheeks.
This was not the first time I had dressed up for a date or a boyfriend, presenting myself as a gift to be unwrapped for their enjoyment. Some may wonder why I put myself through this, and I'll explain. Sexual gift-giving can be a fun and exciting way to spice up your sex life, whether it's for a special occasion like Christmas or an anniversary. It could mean wearing a sexy outfit, trying out new positions, or introducing adult toys. That's the reason why I signed up for The Hook-Up, Metro's sex and dating newsletter. I love reading juicy stories and getting tips on how to add some spice to my bedroom activities. So why am I being the "Scrooge" of sex, you ask? Well, let me tell you.
A few years ago, I had a conversation with a married friend who shared that his sex life had become dull and infrequent. They rarely slept together, but on his birthday, his wife would "treat" him to a blowjob. While my friend still enjoyed the physical aspect of it, he admitted that it had become routine, just another task on their to-do-list. To me, it seemed like this "gift" was being used as a band-aid solution for deeper issues in their relationship. Curious to find out how men actually feel about receiving sex as a gift, I asked a friend for his perspective. It turns out, he wasn't alone in feeling like this. Giving sex as a gift can sometimes have the opposite effect if not done with care and consideration.
Another example that comes to mind is when an ex of mine used to joke about "treating" me to oral sex. Now, I'm not particularly bothered about receiving oral sex, but the fact that he considered it a favor felt insulting. Not only because I make sure to be enthusiastic when giving oral sex, but also because making it seem like a good deed took away the sexiness of the offer. Movies, books, and Western social culture may suggest that men prefer receiving sexual gifts more than women, but that's not always the case. In fact, when I asked my friend about it, he said he would feel upset if his girlfriend gave him sex as a gift instead of putting thought and effort into it.
But don't just take my word for it, there may be men and women out there who disagree, and that's okay. We all have different preferences and boundaries when it comes to sex. My point is, sexual gift-giving should be thought through carefully and not used as a quick fix for deeper issues. It's always okay to say no, regardless of the stage the sexual activity is at. In fact, tying a sexual experience to a specific date or event can add unnecessary pressure and take away from the enjoyment. Plus, it's important to remember that gift-giving should never come at the expense of our own feelings and boundaries.
Looking back, I've spent a lot of time, money, and effort trying to please my partners by "gifting" them their desires. But as I've grown more sexually experienced and comfortable in my own skin, I've learned to prioritize my own needs and boundaries. And, when I've talked to my exes about sexual gift-giving, they've all said that while fulfilling their fantasies was great, it was more important to them that I enjoyed myself. Now, that is a real gift. As for wearing a thong for someone else? Never again.
[This article has been trending online recently and has been generated with AI. Your feed is customized.]
[Generative AI is experimental.]
